Category Archives: Education

Parenting Challenge–Cultural Apathy

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El Día del Niño Children’s Day April 30th

April 30th in México is El Día del Niño (Children’s Day). I love this holiday! The main idea is to celebrate childhood and the children in your life and hasn’t gone too commercial yet. It isn’t about giving your kids toys. It’s about spending time with them–which is priceless.

So this April 30th, the school where I work on Saturdays sponsored a Children’s Day event–free to the public. About 200 hundred children in the immediate area were given an invitation that included a small bag of candy. Come the day of the event, 20 children attended. Well, not to be discouraged, we made the most of it. We played with a parachute. We played red light–green light. We had a tug-a-war contest. We played musical chairs. We did Zumba. We played gallitos (Little Roosters) which is a game where balloons are tied around the kids’ ankles, and then the other team tries to stomp on them. (Anyone who knows me will tell you I personally hate this game since I have a moderate balloon phobia. However, someone else directed it, and I went and hid upstairs until the last balloon was gone.) We kicked the soccer ball around and generally had enormous fun. Prizes were simple, hula hoops, yo-yos, piggy banks, and balls.

Of course, there were a few stick-in-the-muds. One little boy brought his PSP. I found him tucked away in the corner of a classroom playing in complete isolation. I took his game away and made him come out and do Zumba. Twenty minutes later, there he was again, hiding under some desks with his game. I threw my hands up in exasperation. Another little girl had some difficulty integrating at first–the kids ranged in age from 2 to 13 and most didn’t know each other from Adam–but about halfway through the event, she was out there tugging her little heart out with her team.

My son, of course, was there the entire time, from set-up to clean up, the price he pays for being the teacher’s kid. He even tortured his poor old mom with some balloon popping fun. There was no doubt he had a great time.

But when we got home, he was a regular gloomy Gus. He was disappointed that not one of his classmates came to the event. He asked me why he couldn’t be just like everyone else and have friends that come over and visit.

That was a two part question, so I addressed them separately, although the answers were somewhat related. I asked him if he had a good time. Of course, he did. I asked him what he thought his friends had done instead of coming to the event. Watched TV or played video games. I asked who actually lost out–my son or his friends. Well, his friends, because he really had a good time. So I said that no, he wasn’t like everyone else and probably never would be, because he participates in the opportunities life presents, and that wasn’t a bad thing.

Then to answer the second part of the question, I asked why he thought his friends didn’t come to visit him. The obvious reason is that we don’t live in town and coming to La Yacata requires a bit of effort, not because his friends did not want to play with him. He wasn’t entirely satisfied with that answer and said he would rather live in town.

I know that at his age (nearly 11) socialization is the end all and be all of his existence. I feel guilty as a parent sometimes that he doesn’t have any brothers or sisters to play with and that we live isolated from the bulk of the population. I also feel guilty that that way we have raised him creates a feeling of an outsider when all he wants to do is fit in. His values and priorities are different than the mainstream. I have tried to make him a citizen of the world, and I may have succeeded too well and made him belonging to nowhere.

Yet, as agonizing as he finds pre-adolescence, having gone through it myself, I know that one day he will discover that “the road to a friend’s house is never long” and that acceptance does not guarantee happiness. Meanwhile, I will love him unconditionally through the prickliness and tears and laughter and joy with the hope that it will be enough.

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Parenting Challenge–Education as a Discipline

Our vacation education project!

Our vacation education project!

Let the lessons be of the right sort and children will learn them with delight. –Charlotte Mason

During the long 2 week vacation that comes with Semana Santa (Holy Week), I started my 10-year-old son on an educational path that involved the book “The Most Dangerous Book for Boys” by Con and Hal Iggulden. With a title like that, you would have thought that he would have dove right in, but it took a little prompting and finally a stern mandate that he was to read one section of the book and complete the activity (if it had one) each and every day of the vacation period. However, I moderated that he could choose whatever topic he wished. So reluctantly he took the book to his room and thumbed through the table of contents, only to return a few minutes later to ask if he really could choose whatever topic. I responded affirmatively, and his excitement was evident. He went back to reading and came back again asking if he could do more than one section a day. Of course, he could.

As we have already urged, there is but one right way, that is, children must do the work for themselves. They must read the given pages and tell what they have read, they must perform, that is, what we may call the act of knowing. –Charlotte Mason

The first thing he read was about how to make paper airplanes. The house is now littered with the ones he learned from the book and several that he made his own adaptations to. Then he read about building a tree house, although I asked him what he thought he would do with that information since we do not have any trees large enough to support a tree house (cactus is not inherently stable enough to house a tree house.) But he wanted to read it, so he did. I came home from classes and found he had adapted the information to make a second dog house for Cocoa all on his own. (The first dog house, constructed with the help of his dad, has been taken over by 2 kittens and Hershey the new puppy.) Another day, he asked me to bring home vinegar and blotting paper for the newest experiment, a battery made with vinegar, quarters, copper wire, salt, and blotting paper. As blotting paper could not be found, he substituted thin cardboard and set to work. After a failed attempt (he had forgotten the salt) he tried again, his dad looking on. The second attempt also failed, (the light bulb was too large), so he tried again, doubling the number of quarters. He still wasn’t able to make the bulb light up, but he was able to create a spark, so the experiment was deemed a success.

making a battery

Working on making a battery from quarters and vinegar.

The bad habit of the easy life is always pleasant and persuasive and to be resisted with pain and effort, but with hope and certainty of success, because in our very structure is the preparation for forming such habits of muscle and mind as we deliberately propose to ourselves.–Charlotte Mason

My son’s new found enthusiasm for experimentation has sparked my husband’s mind as well. My husband has retooled our moto (motorcycle) wagon and is now gathering materials for making an attempt at a windmill to provide us with electricity since it seems that the powers that be in this area are not interested in their civic duties. My husband has always been creative but slipped into complacency this past year. I hope that his new projects will reawaken what was once a sharp and agile mind.

side car

Moto-cart. Just the thing for transporting!

Physical fitness, morals and manners, are very largely the outcome of habit; and not only so, but the habits of the religious life also become fixed and delightful and give us due support in the effort to live a godly, righteous and sober life. We need not be deterred by the fear that religious habits in a child are mechanical, uninformed by the ideas which should give them value. –Charlotte Mason

Having myself been raised in a religiously strict household, I have taken a more indirect approach to religion with my son. Instead of attending regular religious services, we look for God in the everyday. Instead of forced bible readings, I present tidbits that prompt his own investigations. “The most Dangerous Book for Boys” contains sections on the greatest battles ever fought since the beginning of recorded history. Of course, this included biblical figures such as Nebuchadnezzar. He read the section covering the conflict in the book, then went off with a bible to gather more details about Nebuchadnezzar’s life and times.

It is as we have seen disastrous when child or man learns to think in a groove, and shivers like an unaccustomed bather on the steps of a new notion. This danger is perhaps averted by giving children as their daily diet the wise thoughts of great minds, and of many great minds; so that they may gradually and unconsciously get the courage of their opinions. –Charlotte Mason

There are sections on scientists, explorers, inventors, poets, excerpts from Shakespeare, The Declaration of Independence, and the King James Version of the Bible. There are readings on overcoming adversity, scientific discovery and reaching out towards self-awareness. I was delighted to find some of my own childhood favorites included. After all, my own life is based on what Frost tried to say “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I –I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference” and it is my hope that my son will find his own path armed with all the knowledge and education that I lay before him.

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Parenting Challenge–Creating an Atmosphere for Education

dinosaur track

Often unexpected finds create the best environment for learning.

When we say that education is an atmosphere we do not mean that a child should be isolated in what may be called a ‘child environment’ specially adapted and prepared, but that we should take into account the educational value of his natural home atmosphere both as regards persons and things and should let him live freely among his proper conditions. –Charlotte Mason

I asked my 10-year-old son what he thought he has learned by residing in México. His immediate response of “that to get things, you have to suffer” was not what I was expecting. But he’s right. Everything is more difficult here, harder than you might imagine. So how can I, his mother, provide an atmosphere for education when just meeting the basic necessities of life takes so much time and effort?

How do I create an atmosphere for learning?

I provide options for investigation.

I am a teacher and as such have a natural tendency to provide my son with stimulating games and books at a variety of levels. When my son asked me what happened to the dinosaurs, I had a book already in my home library that offered a variety of theories. It was quite advanced scientifically so, I had him skim what was presented there, allowed him to ask me questions about things he didn’t understand and then asked him what he thought the answer to his question might be. When he said he still wasn’t sure, I was pleased to say that neither is anyone else. Did he learn something from his investigation? Most definitely. When we found a dinosaur print in La Yacata, he went back to the same book to try and identify the dinosaur that made the print. Again, he wasn’t sure that he had the correct answer, but finding the one right answer wasn’t the point in the educational experience.

I allow my son to be involved in economic decisions.

Each of our various business ventures has been family efforts. My son has a stake in what we decide to embark on and therefore, has a say in the matter. He also has obligations to make the venture as success as well. When we had the Crap Shoppe, he learned, mostly from his abuelita (grandma) about doing business and negotiation. I could trust him to make sales while I ran to the store or went to teach a class. This has served him well. He has just started his first outside-of-the-family job. He works from 9:30 to 12 Wednesdays in the mercado (market) selling plastic bags to the merchants. He takes a cart and goes store to store offering his wares. He works along with the nephew of the owner, but after the first day, he told the owner that since he did all the work, he should receive a percent of the sales rather than a fixed amount. The truth was in the pudding since when the nephew went alone on Saturday, he sold next to nothing. My son now gets 10% of the sales.

I set an example.

Adapting to this new life has not been easy for me. I make social blunders all the time. It requires every bit of my focused attention to pick up the cultural nuances and make sense of them. I have stumbled along paths that are not remotely what I had in mind when the journey began. And I have learned from it all. I have pointed out to him that even those people who make me uncomfortable, laugh at my errors or are downright mean, have taught me something. In fact, these people have been some of my best teachers. And that as long as I don’t give up, I haven’t failed. As he moves towards adolescence, with the desire to fit in and just be one of the crowd, I hope that my example will serve him well.

I learn from my son.

We work hard for every little bit we have, and no, things don’t come easy. There are hundreds of small disappointments that make a bit of success so sweet. When I am tempted to grumble and curse about a late night walk home because of a flat tire, my son says, “Mom, have you ever seen the stars look so beautiful?” and I can look at it as the grand adventure that it is.

Creating an atmosphere for education is not providing high-tech teaching material in a child-centered classroom. Rather it is providing an environment that fosters questions and inspires wonder. Nothing new has ever been discovered, invented or learned without it.

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