If you haven’t guessed from the title, this book is chocked full of things that you SHOULDN’T do when you move to Mexico, as experienced by Jennifer who didn’t just move to Mexico once, but multiple times and with varying levels of success.
Her international adventures begin in 1994 when she moved from Canada to Monterrey to join the Mexican National Circus in Saltillo. Go ahead, roll your eyes, but we’ve all been young and foolish at least once in our lives. See, her cousin was dating a clown and well, it goes downhill from there.
On her second move to Mexico, she had a face-to-face encounter with the police in Guanajuato. In Spanglish negotiated her way out of a ticket with “No vas rapido. Yo tengo una plata. You tengo mi papeles. No problemo. Gracias. Adios Senor” and jumping back in her car leaving a perplexed representative of the law in the dust.
In some sort of karmic retribution, Jennifer’s Audi broke down outside of Leon and it took thousands of dollars and YEARS to get the vehicle fixed and returned to Canada.
On another occasion, Jennifer was saved by Jesus himself (well, his representative on earth Jesús anyway) from being hauled away to the slammer after a fender bender. In Cozumel, she met a hunky scuba diving instructor Raul which resulted in love and a near-drowning incident.
A Canadian custody issue meant she was detained at the U.S. border. Then years of legal travail in Canada ensued before she could return to Mexico, this time with a man from the Dominican Republic that she had met in Canada and their two toddlers. Of course, Interpol still had her name on the list and that caused some issues entering Mexico to retrieve her Audi.
When she tried to leave, well, there was a shake-down at the Mexican border and unnecessary delays at the Canadian border causing her to declare that it was the Worst. Road trip. Ever.
Then she moved to Mexico AGAIN! This time she was more prepared and the transition, while not exactly smooth, was successful.
I can honestly say that I am so glad to have not experienced even a quarter of the disasters that Jennifer experienced. But as they say, there’s a silver lining in every cloud.
Jennifer has gone to develop a Move to Mexico eCourse to help the unwary, ignorant or just plain clueless make a better transition to life in Mexico. She’s made it her mission in life to provide up-to-date, step-by-step guidance so that no one ever need repeat her mistakes.
Right now, the introductory course Move to Mexico Now is on sale, so be sure to check it out! Not only do I recommend Jennifer’s hysterical book, How to Not Run Away to Mexico, but I strongly encourage you to enroll in the eCourse if you are even thinking about moving to Mexico. You won’t regret it!
******************
So you get your hair cut at a peluquería(coming from the word peluca which means wig) or Estética. Estética unisex establishments cut both men’s and women’s hair. However, a barbería (from the word barba which means beard) is a barber shop and caters to men only. As facial hair becomes more the mode, you can also get beard and mustache trims at most barberías these days. They don’t pull teeth though.
You need to be very specific in what you ask for. Most men in our area have el corte escolar which is the required haircut for school and is like a crew cut. So every stylist knows how to do this cut, making it the default cut for boys and men. Girls and I’d say 70% of the women here have the parece yegua (looks like a mare) haircut. That’s what my husband calls the pulled back from the forehead into a long, long ponytail or braid style. Older women tend to go with a short bob cut, again, not necessarily the most attractive style, but very popular among those that wear aprons to the store in these parts.
If you have extremely fine hair, your stylist may not be familiar with how to best cut your hair. You’ll know for sure after your hair has been cut, which is perhaps not the best time to find that information out.
There are some strange hair beliefs as well. Girls who have long flowing hair but are anemic are sent for a much shorter haircut since all that hair is taking the nutrients from the body. Yep. And since everyone wants curly haired babies, those whose little girls are straight haired sometimes have their heads shaved so that it will grow back curly. Ok then.
If you are in need of hair removal, there are special places for that too. This one is called Depilación Frida, referring to 
So now you want to add a little pick me up scent either console or celebrate your new look? Head to the Perfumería. If you can’t quite afford what they have to offer, try perfumes similares where you can get casi, casi (almost) the same perfume at a fraction of the cost.
So a trip to the joyeria isn’t in the budget? Try the Bisturia for costume jewelry. Cosméticos (cosmetics) are pretty limited where I live. You might try places that supply the salones de belleza for a selection.
How about some body art? Tattoos are done at places that offer tattoos. That one isn’t too hard to figure out. Sometimes the establishment also does body piercing. Although we live in a pretty conservative area, it’s not unheard of for regular men and women to have visible tattoos or a body piercing or two and all girl babies have their ears pierced before leaving the hospital. Of course the more adornment you have, the more suspicious looks you’ll get, and the more often you’ll be stopped by police for a frisk. Just saying. Maybe get those tats in a little less visible place and not across the bridge of your nose, eh?
