Category Archives: Cultural Challenges

October 23, 2015 · 7:00 am

A night at the movies

watching a movie

I have joked that we are a long ways from cave-dwelling in La Yacata, but a recent trip to the movies makes me wonder about the truth in that statement. So here’s what happened….

I had two class cancellations on Thursday afternoon, so my son and I thought we’d be spontaneous. Let’s go to the movies! Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials was playing, and although we had already bought the pirated version, it was too dark to see what was going on in the movie. So we headed to Cinepolis in Uriangato, which is situated in a strip mall.

Upon arrival, we saw that we had several hours to wait for the next showing. That was ok, we’d wander about and get something to eat in the food court. While this is not our first trip to the mall, typically we have very focused hit and run shopping excursions. We loiter about the door at opening time (where we discovered that Coppel does some sort of magical all-employee chant and clapping session before rolling open the doors), get the item we need and leave the store. So, this extended period of window shopping was all new for us.

We opted for Chinese food. It’s not exactly authentic. The rice had chopped chilies in it. The food is served with jalapenos instead of soy sauce. The chicken, well there’s always some doubt as to what the chicken might actually be. We took our trays and plunked ourselves down in front of the food court TV. The music video channel was on. It’s usually that or the soccer game.

After our refreshment, we headed to Blockbuster. Even though Blockbuster has gone bust en el Norte, the DVD rental chain is alive and well here in Mexico. I came across the boxed set of Game of Thrones: The Complete Seasons 1 & 2 and then the boxed set Game of Thrones: The Complete Fourth Season  with a little Tyrion doll included. Oh, how longing surged up in my heart. Imagine how many hours of viewing pleasure were contained in those boxes! I checked the price. There were so many numbers that I couldn’t make sense of it. Apparently, I have been conditioned that anything over three digits is incomprehensible. My son pried the boxes from my hands, and we headed to the door. I was distracted by a light saber.( Star Wars Light Up Weapons Light Saber Keychain - Obi Wan Kenobi EP4) Of course, I had to pluck it from the display and turn it on. Only then I couldn’t figure out how to turn in off again.

I left it still on and rushed out of the store in shame. We headed to another store–Heaven and Earth, where I was very badly startled by towering mannequins with hair and nipples and confused by the manner in which the clothes were hung–sideways rather than upright on the hangers. I scurried out and into the bookstore.

There was a display for The Game of Thrones which caught our eyes. Among the books we already have, there were two which we didn’t. One was the.Game of Thrones: A Pop-Up Guide to Westeros The other was the prequel to the series.( A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms (A Song of Ice and Fire) Longing welled up in my heart again. The books didn’t have any prices on them as far as I could see, and after the scare at Blockbuster, I wasn’t about to ask.

After this, we decided to go and purchase our tickets. Although there was no line, we wound our way through the ribboned off area to the ticket counter and waited to be acknowledged by the clerks. I asked for two tickets for The Maze Runner , and suddenly a seating chart appeared on a screen. The clerk instructed me to choose our seats, except for the green seats which were already taken. As there were only two seats that were green, I was puzzled. Ok, well I choose these seats then–and I touched the screen. Nothing happened. So I pressed harder. Still nothing. Maybe it wasn’t a touch-screen? So I told the clerk–I’d like E11 and E12. OK. He entered it, and the seats turned green. DUH! The tickets were $63 pesos apiece. HOLY CRAP! The minimum wage in Mexico is $70 per day! No wonder everyone buys piratas (pirated movies) (3 for $50 pesos) and hang the illegality of it.

Then we went for popcorn. There was a digital counter number sign like you’d find at DMV (or at the bank here in Mexico). It said we should go to counter 2. The girl at counter 4 said we could order there. I pointed to the sign that said counter 2. She hit some buttons, and it changed to counter 4. Okie Dokie. We ordered a popcorn and 2 sodas. They came on a large, awkward blue cup-holder tray. Refreshments cost $120 pesos.

We headed to the theater, leaving a trail of buttered popcorn behind us. After giving the young lady our tickets, we went to the designated theater, only to find that the theater was still closed. Apparently, the previous movie wasn’t over. We didn’t know what to do. We spent some moments lurking outside the door until the young lady came to our rescue. She explained that the movie theater wasn’t ready yet (which we had figured out on our own) and that we should wait in the lobby. I made sure that she would let us in again since we had already given her our tickets and she assured us that she would.

So we shuffled back to the lobby. There were no chairs there, so we headed to the mall area. I was pretty sure some sort of alarm would go off if we took the tray too far from the door, so we huddled on benches in front of the theater. There we sat people watching for a bit.

At 7:00 pm we tried to get into the theater again, only to be told by the same nice girl that the movie wasn’t over yet. We should try back at 7:20. So at 7:20 we went back and found that the ticket collector had changed. We had a few minutes of panic until the girl, who had been sweeping up our popcorn trail, came back and gave the nod to let us in.

Whew! We bolted to the theater and anxiously looked for our seats. I was afraid we’d find them occupied, but we were in luck, and they were vacant. However, each set of people that entered had me ready to defend my seat again. Good grief!

peter b

So after admonishing us not to buy pirated movies, support the special Olympics and save the Mexican eagle from extinction, the movie began. Continuing with the night’s Game of Thrones theme, Petyr Baelish (or rather the actor who plays Petyr Baelish) rescued the Maze Runner teens. My son and I both drew in breaths and whispered–NO! Don’t trust Petyr Baelish–having watched betrayal after betrayal in The Game of Thrones.

zombies

We quickly discovered that the movie had ZOMBIES! My son and I have a love/hate relationship with zombie movies. Zombies are such a primal fear for us, instinctive like snakes and giant spiders. Our fight or flight responses, already at high alert, went berserk watching the movie. We were literally paralyzed in our seats. Of course, there was the size factor. We’ve become accustomed to watching movies on a 5-inch screen. Zombies seem much less dangerous at that size. The movie screen was way bigger than 6 inches–the horror larger than life!

We made it through the movie somehow and stumbled out of the theater. Once in the light, we began to laugh hysterically at our evening adventures. Who would have thought we would have had such difficulty negotiating the modern world? We retreated to our cave in La Yacata, safe at last from the howling savagery beyond.

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October 16, 2015 · 7:45 am

Some days are definitely better than others–Ni modo

life better

Yesterday was one of those days that a series of annoying happenstances made a typical day (one with only two or three annoying happenstances) seem like paradise.

We woke up at 5 am. My son’s new school schedule demands it. We are not pleased about getting up before the sun, but we remind ourselves that it is only temporary. Secondary school is 2 more years, so a long temporary, but temporary. Ni modo. (This expression can be translated as It’s no big deal, That’s just the way things are, That’s just how it is, There’s nothing we could have done about it, There’s nothing we can do or Whatever.)

Of course, the day started out on the wrong foot when we realized there wasn’t any water to shower with. Ni modo. My husband generously went outside and filled a bucket from the ajibe (dry well) for my son and me to wash with. The water was cold. It is the middle of October after all. We could only bear to wash our heads, but even that was unpleasant, although it was enough to wake us up completely. The rest of the parts would have to wait until we could get a truckload of water delivered. (See Water Woes) After all, there was deodorant…oh but hold on, both my son and I were out, and my husband refuses to buy his own (he just uses ours). Well, a-stinky we shall go. Ni modo.

During the day, my son lost 2 pesos and therefore, didn’t have enough money for a torta (sandwich) at lunch. As food is life for a growing pre-teen, that made his school day less than optimal, and by mid-afternoon he was irritable. Ni modo.

My day was also annoying. Although I had enough money for lunch, I spent the morning working on the grades for report cards, which is not my favorite task. I dislike assigning a number value to learning, so I had gone out of my way to make the job more difficult for myself by grading everything from attendance and school supplies to the “exams.” All in all, it ended up to be 15 separate evaluations for each student. Ni modo.

I also had a slightly heated discussion with the school director over some proposed changes I wanted to make in classroom management. When my emotions are high, my Spanish is low, so it made the whole process even more frustrating. Ni modo.

In the early afternoon, my hungry and cranky son arrived, and we headed to the store to buy some deodorant. I bought 3 and each cost more than 50 pesos. Fifty pesos is what I earn for one hour of teaching. So I had worked more than 3 hours to buy that particular hygiene product for my family. Ni modo.

From there we went home. The house was a wreck–dirty dishes piled sky high. My husband had an unexpected morning job, so didn’t have time to tidy up. Ni modo, I would do the dishes. So I stacked and sorted and was ready to begin—only to be reminded when I went to turn on the water, that there was no water. Duh! Ni modo. The dishes would have to wait.

OK, time for dinner. We looked high and low, and there wasn’t anything prepared, although there were fresh tortillas. As my husband typically prepares something for his lunch and then leaves enough for us to eat when we get home—this seemed odd and aggravating. Ni modo. Back to town for something quick and easy, ham and cheese for quesadillas.

I returned home and lit the stove–blue flames swooshed out! It appeared that we were dangerously low on gas. Just great! Fortunately, there was just enough to heat the tortillas and melt the cheese–so dinner was saved.

After we had eaten, I continued straightening the kitchen. I went to throw a bit of leftover rice to the chickens but didn’t, realizing that I would be walking into a den of iniquity! What to my wondering eyes did I see but there in the new addition to the goat corral that my husband is working on–was Tinkerbell humping Stinky Chivo while one of the James brothers was humping her. Something was very wrong with the picture. Why was Stinky Chivo not doing his husbandly duties when it was apparent that Tinkerbell was in heat? (See Goat Genetics)

Upon closer examination, I found that Stinky Chivo’s head and leg are stuck in the food trough. Great! As his horns were wedged under the wire and he has some big horns, it took some maneuvering to release him.

The bondage and sexual scandal were not the only evidence of debauchery. The goats had taken the liberty of stripping the peach and pomegranate trees of leaves and bark. Not bad for a morning’s work. It’s their nature I suppose–Ni modo.

So later my husband explained that he didn’t leave dinner because it had been stolen. He had arrived home for lunch with meat and tortillas and heard some commotion in the goat corral. He went to investigate, leaving the goods hanging from his motorcycle handlebars. When he came back out front, only the tortillas remained. He had bought 60 pesos of meat, so that means more than an hour of work for someone or something to enjoy the meal. I suspect it was Chokis. Ni modo.

That evening, after the goats were rounded up again and the horses stabled, we realized we still had no gas to cook supper or anything to cook for that matter. Ni modo. There was nothing to be done but head out for some tacos. Our high-stress day was made all the better with a few tacos de tripa, bistek or chorizo (depending on the family member) and some nopales (cactus) and onions sauteed in grease. Our meal cost $150 pesos, which is a day and a half of work for my husband, so we were appreciative of this particular treat.

Ni modo. Nothing to be done but hit the sack and hope that tomorrow will be better.

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September 18, 2015 · 12:38 pm

Attending a quinceañera

at the party

My son and his group of galanes (young men).

My son was recently invited to his first quinceañera party. What a milestone! While my son was not a chambelan (one of the male escorts) at this particular event, I’m sure that it won’t be long before he is requested to act as one.

His invitation spawned a flurry of activity on my part. I had no idea what he should wear and the uncertainty of whether he should bring a gift or not. So I went asking about. Since he was not a chambelan, he wouldn’t need a formal suit. However, church clothes would be appropriate. Well, he had grown out of his dress pants, so off to the store we went. We had to shop in the men’s section! Where did my little boy go? A pair of sensible black pants were purchased. Then he needed a shirt. After several options had been discarded, he picked the black shirt with striped sleeves. I think it was a good buy because he’ll be able to change it up a bit for future quinceañera parties (wear a vest, tie, open over another shirt, etc.Spanish young). His school shoes and socks were just fine–but he did need a belt. So we spent about 500 pesos on his outfit alone. Then there was the gift, a simple necklace, and the gift bag–so another 100 pesos or so.

quience lis

My beautiful niece in her quinceañera dress.

Traditionally, the quinceañera festival was a coming oyoung Spanish ladies. This custom was brought over to Mexico after the conquest and remains an integral part of a Mexican girl’s life. The traditional quinceañera gathering would have been the first time she was presented formally to the community as a woman, not a child. Her chambelanes (escorts) would have been eligible young men of her social class from which she would choose from and marry within the year, more often than not. While it’s less common these days for girls to marry before they turn 16, brides of 17 or 18 are fairly common, especially in the more rural areas.

I’ve had the honor of attending a quinceañera here in Mexico and was amazed at the ritualization of the event. Of course, I attended with my mother-in-law and that made the event even more memorable as you will see.

The day of the quinceañera, there is a formal mass in the big church downtown. I’ve been in several houses where a wall-sized picture of the quinceañera before the altar is displayed. It’s quite a thing to behold. After the mass (and subsequent picture taking session) there is a social event usually hosted in a rented salon (hall). The wealthier the family, the more lavish the event.

The guests are invited to arrive before the quinceañera so that she and her “court” can make a grand entrance. The first dance after the entrance is between the quinceañera and her father. Much like a wedding reception, there is symbolic of the passing of custody from father to the new “man” in her life as the father passes his daughter to her escort for the second dance. Following the escort dance, there are several other choreographed dances, performed by the belle of the ball and her court, before the floor is opened up to the general public. I was a bit surprised that the main song was  Total Eclipse of the Heart. I wasn’t expecting an English theme song for such a traditional event, much less this particular one, which seemed to me inappropriate for the innocence of a young girl’s coming out party (although it happens to be one of my favorite songs ever). But whatever floats your boat I suppose.

While these dances are being performed, the invitees are being served food. The standard fare in our area is carnitas (fried pork) which is not one of my favorites. At the quinceañera that I attended, my mother-in-law asked for several plates to go. Then she had another waiter bring her plates for now. Before too long, she had a pile of food in front of her stacked nearly nose high. She was ready to leave before the dances were even finished, and she asked for a two-liter bottle of soda to go. Then, of course, she needed a bag for all her foodstuff.

I was pretty embarrassed by this point. I come from an area where the leftover food is left to the host, not divvied up in doggie bags among the guests. Oh, but it didn’t stop there. She snatched up the tortilla basket, napkin and all–AND the decorative centerpiece from the table. I guess my surprise (or horror) showed on my face because she told me matter-of-factly that the hostess told her she could have one of the decorations. I imagine the hostess meant after the party was over though. Then my mother-in-law asked if I wanted one, thinking maybe I was jealous. No thank you.

This seems to be a fairly common practice, as ill-mannered as it seemed to me. As we were leaving the party, I overheard several older ladies debating which adorno (decoration) they were going to take when they left. My sister-in-law L. also has a number of centerpieces she took as momentos of various quinceañera and wedding receptions littered about her house. As she doesn’t have any tables, they sit on the floor in the corners of various rooms, gathering dust.

I refused to help my mother-in-law with her stolen goods and walked on ahead of her in some attempt to distance myself from her and her ill-gotten gains. I declined additional invitations she extended to accompany her to other events (well except for that party crashing Christmas posadas in December) after this.

My son had a far better time. He told me it was medium-fun. The music was loud. He danced with a girl. He received two compliments on his outfit (from girls) and was served a quarter glass of margarita, although the other boys were not. He thinks it’s because he has a mustache and the waiter thought him older than 13, which is probably true. They had tacos and were pretty good.

We picked him up at 11 pm, which was early for this type of event, but I reminded him he is only 13 and there is no reason he needed to be out later than that. I’m sure this is just the first of many such events in my son’s life!

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