Category Archives: Cultural Challenges

A Bag of Wild Plums

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, so I thought I’d give an update on my own situation. It was exactly one year ago that my soon-to-be ex-husband locked me out of our house just before a La Yácata community meeting. It took months before I was able to get a demanda (lawsuit) moving to force him to give me access to my personal possessions.

I was extremely fortunate to have found an excellent lawyer. She not only succeeded in getting the judge to approve access to my belongings, but also secured my reincorporation into the house (he had to leave) and a restraining order.

Of course, none of that made the situation easier emotionally. I was subjected to harassment, a horrific smear campaign, and financial pressure through the prolonged legal process. If you’ve never experienced anything like this, I can’t really begin to explain the emotional damage it causes. Even when you’re physically safe, your nervous system doesn’t necessarily get the message that the danger is over.

A couple of weeks ago, the sentencia (ruling) from the higher court came in after my ex-husband challenged the family court ruling. I’m still waiting for some of the paperwork to be completed, but for all intents and purposes, I am finally divorced. And only now am I beginning to feel as though I am doing more than simply surviving.

A Look at the Numbers

My experience is just one story, but it exists within a much larger reality.

According to Mexico’s National Institute of Statistics and Geography (INEGI), approximately 70.1% of women in Mexico have experienced some form of violence, including psychological, physical, sexual, economic, or patrimonial violence. INEGI — Violence Against Women Statistical Dashboard  

Psychological or emotional violence is the most widely reported form, followed by physical and economic violence. Cámara de Diputados — Ley General de Acceso de las Mujeres a una Vida Libre de Violencias 

Statistics don’t necessarily tell the whole story. Fear, stigma, lack of confidence in institutions, and other structural barriers can keep women from reporting abuse. This means that many experiences of domestic violence and harassment never become part of the official statistics. Amnistía Internacional México — La impunidad persiste 

That matters because violence isn’t always visible. Sometimes there are no bruises. Sometimes there isn’t a police report. Sometimes the abuse happens through money, isolation, intimidation, manipulation, harassment, or the legal system itself.

Resources for Women Living in Mexico

If you or someone you know is experiencing violence, some organizations can provide information, support, referrals, and, in some cases, access to shelter.

Fighting Domestic Violence — Mexico: Legal Provisions  

Information about legal provisions concerning domestic violence in Mexico.

Línea Sin Violencia
A support and information service for women experiencing violence in the State of Mexico.

Red Nacional de Refugios
Mexico’s National Network of Shelters, providing information and support for women experiencing violence.

No More Global Directory — Mexico
A directory of organizations and services addressing domestic and sexual violence in Mexico.

And Then There Are the Small Things

One of the things I’ve learned over the past year is how much the small things matter. The community has supported me in ways I never expected. Just this morning, someone brought me a bag of wild plums (Spondias purpurea), and I’m so excited at the idea of trying my hand at jam.

A bag of plums probably doesn’t sound like much, but after a year of court dates, paperwork, conflict, uncertainty, and trying to put my life back together, someone showing up at my door with something from their garden feels enormous.

I still know I have a long road ahead of me. Things still need to be resolved, and rebuilding after this kind of experience doesn’t happen overnight. But today I feel more focused, more secure, and more like myself than I have in a very long time.

And that, after everything, feels like something worth celebrating.

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Filed under Charities and Non-Profits in Mexico, Cultural Challenges, Natural Healing

Elections? Today? Mexican Judicial Elections 2025

When posters went up around La Yacata, I had to stop and do a double-take. I had heard there were going to be elections, but honestly, I hadn’t paid much attention. So, I thought I’d do a little research and share with you what I found out. 

On June 1, 2025, Mexico is holding its first-ever national judicial elections. This historic event enables citizens to vote directly for nearly 2,700 judicial positions, including all nine Supreme Court justices, circuit court magistrates, district judges, and members of the newly established Judicial Disciplinary Tribunal.

This unprecedented reform, initiated by former President Andrés Manuel López Obrador and continued under President Claudia Sheinbaum, aims to democratize the judiciary and combat corruption. However, it has sparked significant controversy. Critics express concerns that electing judges could undermine judicial independence and open the door to political influence and organized crime within the courts. I’m not sure how relevant this concern is, since if a candidate is not to the local crime syndicate’s liking, they are removed permanently before or after the elections anyway.  

The election process has also faced criticism for its complexity and lack of transparency. With over 7,700 candidates vying for positions, voters have reported confusion due to limited information about the candidates and the absence of traditional campaigning, as political parties are prohibited from endorsing judicial candidates. A few candidates have a bit of notoriety and are a little more well-known, such as Silvia Delgado, El Chapo’s defense lawyer.  

Despite these challenges, the elections represent a significant shift in Mexico’s approach to judicial appointments. Supporters argue that this move empowers citizens and increases accountability within the judiciary. The outcomes of these elections are expected to have profound implications for the rule of law and democratic governance in Mexico; whether those implications are positive or negative remains to be seen.

Final results are anticipated by June 15, 2025, with a second wave of judicial elections planned for 2027 to complete the overhaul of the judiciary, whatever that implies. 

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Filed under Cultural Challenges, Politics

Elder Care in Rural Mexico

Assisted living facilities are a relatively new concept to Mexico and mostly confined to highly concentrated expat areas. You can find private nursing homes in places like Ajijic, Lake Chapala or Puerto Vallarta in Jalisco. San Miguel de Allende, Guanajuato in the interior of the country is another expat haven. Along the US/Mexican border, the states of Chihuahua and Baja Norte are just a short drive from San Diego and El Paso, making them areas of high demand for American citizens looking to reduce their expenses when it comes time to find a place for mom and pop.

Casa Hogar para Ancianos (nursing homes for the eldery), asilos (asylums) and casas de adulto mayores (homes for older adults), are not as common outside of these expat areas. Although small towns often have at least one, usually run by the Catholic church, it may not meet the minimum standards you feel comfortable with. However, there are several other options available if you need assistance in caring for elderly loved ones in rural Mexico. 

Mexicans often live in intergenerational homes, designed to accommodate parents, children, grandparents and even great-grandparents. It’s not uncommon to find homes with separate mother-in-law casitas or a suite of rooms separate from the main house.

If your elderly relative prefers to remain independent as long as possible, there are ways to accommodate that as well. It’s customary for even the middle class to hire a cleaning lady that comes several times a week. She often takes charge of shopping and simple meal preparation for the elderly in her charge as well. Many grocery stores offer delivery service, even in rural areas, making it easier for someone up in years to keep stocked up. Fruit and vegetables trucks come right to your doorstep once a week in many rural areas. Potable water and cooking gas is delivered in the same manner. 

Several of our older residents in Moroleon, GTO.

Even when the elderly are living independently, there are very few elderly that have been completely abandoned. For example, Mama Sofia and her husband Tio Felipe lived in their own home in Cerano while Tio Felipe’s great nephew’s wife and daughter came by once a day to bring them hot meals and check on them. They lived there until Tio Felipe died at 98, then Mama Sofia’s daughter took her to live with her in Zamora, Michoacan where she died a few years later at 97.

In our town, there is an elderly couple that makes the rounds of the local businesses every morning. They are in the bottom right of the picture above. The husband is 102 years old and his wife a mere 80. She is a bit impatient with his slow gait and often is several feet ahead of him on the walk to town. They stop at a place that has coffee for a cup each, then they stop and receive 5 pesos of tortillas from my sister-in-law’s tortilleria. After that, they pass by the carniceria for some carnitas. I’m not sure of the other places they stop. All of these small businesses give them this little bit without charge. Small towns tend to take care of their own. 

In rural Mexico, the elderly often are active in the community while many senior citizens continue to work out of necessity. Our neighbor Doña Oliva is 75 and each morning she has pickled pig feet, bunuelos and other food items for sale. You can see her stand in the top right of the picture above.

Our other neighbor down below, Don Alfonso rode his bike 2 miles to tend to animals he kept in La Yacata. He is now 98 and for the last six months has been unable to make the trip, now assigned to his grandson. 

My own father-in-law is 76 and bikes daily to town to pick up some pan y leche and dog food for his two four-footed companions. His mid-day meal is prepared by his daugher T and delivered by his son B. We try and keep an eye on him as well, but he doesn’t much like hovering and sometimes heads down the opposite road so we can’t keep track of his comings and goings as well as we would like. 

When you need more help with those that have medical issues, full-time caretakers and even trained nurses can be hired. You may need to spend some time finding just the right person for the job however. Some families have opted to rent a small house and have caretakers look in on their elderly family members periodically. Others have chosen to have a live-in caretaker assume full responsibility 24/7. Mexican culture reveres those that have reached “la tercer edad” (the third age) and caring for senior citizens is not looked upon as a burden by most.

How have you found elder care in rural Mexico?

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Filed under Cultural Challenges, Parenting Challenges and Cultural Norms