Tio Felipe

tiofelipe

So two weeks ago, Tio Felipe died.  He just missed reaching a century.  He went peacefully in his sleep.

I’d like to take a few minutes to talk about his life. He married Mama Sofia shortly after her husband Porfirio died from a burro kick. He too was a recent widower with 10 children at home. So she took her youngest daughter, just two years old, and moved in to care for his children. She left her 3 teenagers in the house that her husband had left her at his death. Her oldest daughter married soon after, although that marriage didn’t stick. Her oldest son also married and in short order, started the Flores clan of which I now belong. Her second son went off and nobody is quite sure where is lives at the moment.

However this post isn’t about Mama Sofia, but Tio Felipe. From all accounts, he was a bit of a scoundrel. Of course, I didn’t meet him until he was in his late 80s and his tomcatting ways were long gone, but there was still a bit of a rascal in him.

Although he was married to Mama Sofia more than 45 years, the Flores clan always differentiated their relationship with him. He was never Papa Felipe (grandpa) but Tio Felipe (Uncle) and when asked by someone outside the family if he was their grandfather, it was always vehemently denied with a look of fuchila (bad odor) on their faces.

There was reason for their disdain.  On several occasions when we went to visit, we found Mama Sofia in tears. Once it was over some of her flowers Tio Felipe had cut in spite after an argument. Other times she wouldn’t tell us why she was crying. There was a history of abuse. Mama Sofia’s children said that he would often beat her about the head and they blamed her loss of hearing on those beatings. Once he pushed her down the front steps which broke her nose and cracked her skull. When her children asked her to leave and live with them, she replied that Felipe was her cross to bear. For what sin, I never asked. Abandoning her children, marrying again, some other sin? Despite it all, she managed to outlive him, although I don’t expect it will be by much.

This past year Tio Felipe’s cataracts got the best of him. He stayed closer to home for the most part. We stopped to visit last Dia de Los Muertos to find out that he had asked someone to take him to the cemetery in Purandiro to visit his parents’ graves. I wondered who would lay flowers at his grave and asked about his children. In total, he had had 13 children with his first wife, not all of whom reached adulthood. He mentioned that one of his sons was currently in Cerano getting divorced, and there might be a daughter or two nearby, but as for the other 6 that he still believed to be alive, he didn’t know where they might be. They never visited.

Even though Mama Sofia and Felipe were married more than 45 years, he gave the title of the little bitty house and land they lived on to his son. Felipe wasn’t even cold in his grave, the novena had yet to finish, when that son came and padlocked the door, ousting Mama Sofia from her home. She stayed at a distant relative’s home until the novena ended and went with her daughter to Zamora to live out the few months or years remaining.

And so, we add yet another tomb to visit on El Dia de los Muertos. (See Visible Mourning, El Dia de Los Muertos)

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Ni Una Mas (Not One More) Femicide in Mexico

I’ve written how mothers are venerated here in Mexico. I’ve written about how the Virgen Maria de Guadalupe, the ultimate mother, has played a key part in the independence of Mexico. However I’ve also written about the hissing and booing of Malinche in Mexican history, and here is where the juxtaposition of femicide in Mexico begins. Femicide is defined as the killing of women by males because they are female. As opposed to homicide, femicide is linked closely with sexual violence enacted to punish, blame and control the actions, emotions and behavior of women. It is the most common crime in the world and has the highest level of impunity for perpetrators. It’s hard to even find reliable statistics for Mexico since murders are covered up, bodies are never identified, disappearances remain unreported, and justice is sorely lacking. It is estimated that an average of 6-7 women per day is murdered in Mexico. Perhaps that doesn’t sound like very many, but 6 per day is 42 per week, 180 per month, 2190 per year. That’s two thousand one hundred and ninety daughters, mothers, and sisters every year. In some Mexican states, femicide rates are 15 times higher than the global average. With the death rate so high, it comes as no surprise that 63 percent of Mexican women over the age of 15 have experienced some form of gender violence, although 95 percent of the aggressors have never been held accountable in the court of law.

femicide-pic

To understand these staggering figures, it’s necessary to look at the nature of femicide itself and the underlying cultural of machismo in Mexico. I’m not going to write a dissertation about it, but suffice it to say that femicide is considered acceptable in many segments of Mexican society. Women are considered expendable as demonstrated by the low number of murders actually brought to justice. During 2012-2013, 3,892 women were classified as victims of femicide. Of that number, only 24 percent of the crimes were investigated and only 1.6 percent led to sentencing.

This idea of expendability was further reinforced culturally with the implementation of NAFTA. The factories that have sprung up at the border (maquiladoras) hire mostly lower wage earning young women. These working women have left the relative safety of their hometowns and family circles in order to work at the border town sweat shops and have become easy prey for unprovoked violence by strangers. Men who have been denied work because of their higher-wage earning gender seek out to harm these women to prove their macho-ness.

Not only strangers but husbands and boyfriends have also been unmanned with the economic shift. This shift directly challenges the cultural idea of Marianismo (relating to the Virgin Maria) found in Mexico.  It comes as no surprise that domestic violence is on the rise when these traditional gender roles are challenged.

In one such border town, Ciudad Juarez, over it is estimated that 700 women have disappeared and more than 360 more killed. The majority of these victims are young women, many workers in the maquiladoras, and have been sexually assaulted before their death. The Inter-American Court of Human Rights found the state complicity guilty of these deaths in 2009 because so few were ever even investigated much less documented adequately. Ciudad Juarez was previously sanctioned by the National Human Rights Commission for gross irregularities and general negligence including the misidentification of corpses, lack of expert forensic evidence, failure to conduct autopsies or obtain semen samples, failure to file reports and incompetent record keeping when it came to female victims.

One important differentiation between femicide and homicide is that the murder is committed by someone who takes advantage of his elevated social of physical power over a woman. There are countless known examples of the authorities in Mexico abusing their social position and power. Some femicides are believed to be related to the powerful drug cartels, found in Ciudad Juarez and other areas of Mexico. Prostitution rings and human trafficking are real dangers for women in Mexico.

In the State of Mexico, while now President Peña Nieto was governor of the state, at least 1,997 women were murdered. One particularly horrifying incident of abuses done to women by those in power occurred in 2006 when Mexican troops were called in, by Governor Peña Nieto, to end the protestations of local flower sellers in a community near the capital. In San Salvador Atenco, at least 11 women were detained by police and transported to a holding facility. They were raped and beaten and denied medical treatment for days. The Inter-American Commission on Human Rights (IACHR) investigation of the matter found that the state government (under Peña Nieto) attempted to minimize the crimes. Instead of prosecuting the officers involved, the state arrested 5 of the women, having them serve more than a year in prison for blocking traffic during the initial flower seller protest. Within a culture where those in power can do as they wish to women with consequence, it is no wonder femicide is rampant in Mexico.

The Inter-American Commission on Human Rights (IACHR) investigation of the matter found that the state government (under Peña Nieto) attempted to minimize the crimes. Instead of prosecuting the officers involved, the state arrested 5 of the women, having them serve more than a year in prison for blocking traffic during the initial flower seller protest. Within a culture where those in power can do as they wish to women with consequence, it is no wonder femicide is rampant in Mexico.

Quintana Roo has one of the highest human trafficking rates in Mexico. In 2005, reporter Lydia Cacho pointed fingers and named names of high-profile businessmen in Cancun and their involvement in child pornography and prostitution rings. In yet another power play by authorities, she was subsequently arrested for defamation of character, tortured and threatened with rape in an attempt to silence her.

5 Latin American Feminist Groups You Should Know About

The Ni Una Mas (not one more) social movement in Mexico was originally organized to raise awareness for the violence against women in Ciudad Juarez. Since its initial formation, it has grown to include a variety of domestic and international organizations, all with the idea that not one more woman will disappear, not one more woman will be abused, not one more woman will be murdered.

Ni Una Mas protest September 3, 2016 Moroleon, Guanajuato

Ni Una Mas protest September 3, 2016, Moroleon, Guanajuato

On September 3, 2016, a representative group passed through Moroleon on their way to the state capital in order to ask the governor to better address the local situation. While violence against women is not as staggering in the state of Guanajuato in comparison to those areas previously mentioned, in 2015 there were 45 murders classified as femicide in the state with 13 of these occurring in the city of Leon. Only 13 arrests have been made in the 45 wrongful deaths and to date, not one conviction.

A study conducted in 2011 by ENDIREH reported that over 38% of women 15 years old or more have been victims of some sort of emotional, economic, physical or sexual violence in the state. In 2012, and 2013, there were 1034 reported rapes in Guanajuato. In 2012, there were 65-68 murders classified as femicide. Thus, this international issue is also a local issue. (See also En cuatro años, aumenta 974% desaparición de mujeres adolescentes: Redim)

Mothers, sisters, brothers, husbands, fathers, sons and daughters have taken up the pink cross in their march for justice in Moroleon, in Guanajuato, in Mexico, and in Latin America.

Ni Una Mas!

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Working boy

My son has been carrying on like a typical teenage boy about how BORED he is with his life. So I decided it was time to find him a job. I sent an email to my local acquaintances listing his stellar qualities and work experiences and asked if anyone knew of a job would they let me know.

I also started scanning the streets for help wanted signs. There were a quite a number, however, for the most part, they were looking for empleadas (female employees) because they are “known” to be more responsible than male employees. Whatever.

Of course, the other glitch is that although my son looks 17 with his bitty ‘stache and impressive height, he’s only 14, thus underage for most positions. So our cruising around didn’t get us very far.

Then my boss’s husband’s sister sent me an email asking if my son was employed. If not, she could offer him some hours at the papeleria (stationery store). He’d work there before but was replaced with a ‘chacha (girl) after a few months with no explanation.

The catch is he would be working with the elderly mother as sort of a caretaker/salesperson until the daughter gets home from work and takes over. She’s well into her 80s and quite set in her ways, which makes it a bit challenging to work there and all. Well, we’d give it a shot.

The first week he was supposed to work Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday from 3 to 8. I took him to work, and the store was closed. We knocked on the door, and the old lady said his hours started at 4. So he went back at 4. Then she stated that I had said he would be starting at 5, which I hadn’t. I sent an email to the daughter and asked for clarification of the hours. 4-7:30 was the response. However, that changed yet again, now it’s 4:30 to 7:30. All righty then!

The days changed too. His days would be Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and not Saturday. Well, ok. But then on Monday, she changed them again. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday and not Friday. My son changed his guitar lesson from Tuesday to Friday to accommodate the hours. Then on Tuesday, the days changed yet again back to Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Well, the music class was already scheduled so he wouldn’t be going on Fridays. (See Music Lessons)

Meanwhile, my son was invited to be a chambelan for a quinceanera party. Dance training would be Tuesday and Thursday from 5 to 7 pm. (See Attending a Quinceanera) Now he was up to his eyeballs in activities!

So, feeling overwhelmed and missing his computer time, my son didn’t want to work anymore. He said he “hated” the job. It was SO BORING. I told him that I would take him home right after school then. That wasn’t enough motivation. I said he would need to tell the girl whose party he was supposed to grace with his presence that he could not participate in the quinceanera because he didn’t have any money for the formal attire required. OK MOM I’LL GO TO WORK!

His arguments for not working were valid. He is only 14, and none of his friends have jobs. He doesn’t like it. It is pretty slow for the most part. He would rather work for himself. I said that would be great! Did he have any start-up money for his business? Nope, well, then he’d have to work at a ho-hum job until then. I reminded him how many hours I was currently working and he said that was different because I was a mom and it was my responsibility, but he was a kid and didn’t have to. So I replied that because I was a mom, I should be home baking cookies instead of working and as a male, he needed to be gainfully employed, that is if we were going to talk about stereotypes and all.

So now his hours are on Monday and Wednesday only so that he can continue with the guitar classes and begin the dance classes. I told him to stick it out until December and then we would talk again. He whined and moaned about that, but I think he’s going to try.

In the short time that he’s been working there, he has already made an impression on the local clientele. A teenage girl, maybe 16 or 17, stopped to pick up some supplies, clearly expecting to be waited on by someone else. When my son asked her what she needed, she sputtered and choked. He asked her again, and she mumbled and blushed. The third attempt allowed her to spit out her paper needs and my son packed them up in a bag. She then circled the block 3 times casting furtive, longing looks his way. He asked me why she acted like that when he had done nothing to provoke the response. I told him that teenage girls all go a bit crazy and act like that and he should just be kind when they are rendered speechless in his presence. I also told him he should be thankful that she didn’t run into a light pole. (See Knockout)

I expect as word gets out, business will be booming Mondays and Wednesdays between 4:30 and 7:30. Don’t you?

working boy

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