August 1, 2014 · 6:12 pm

Getting Legal—License plates

Myrtle

Placando Mytle (a little play on words) Placas are license plates.  Placar means to tackle.  So tackling license plates….

As much as I love my moto, I have to admit it is not as much fun to use during rainy season. With that in mind, this year we found a 1993 VW bug, known here as a Vocho, in our price range, owned by someone whose family we know and could feel reasonably confident buying from and voila, Myrtle joined the family.

With the policía del estado (State police) camping out at the crossroads that is the main entrance to La Yacata, (See Driving Hazards–mordidas) we decided to waste no time in getting license plates and tarjeta de circular (permission to circulate) for Myrtle.

oficina de recaudadora

My husband went down to the Oficina de Recaudadora to see about that particular transaction. He took his driver’s license, his IFE (voter registration card) and the electric bill from his sister’s tortilleria (tortilla shop). However, the guy at the desk said that one or the other of his identifications must have the address that the electric bill had listed.

Oh, but wait! My newly minted moto license has that address on it! (See Getting Legal—Motorcycle license) Problem solved. So we went back and showed my documentation. I brought my residency card, my driver’s license, my passport, just in case, and Myrtle’s papers. We checked with the guy at the desk and everything seems a go. We took a number and waited.

At the counter, the girl asked for the original factura (factory receipt), the baja (the receipt from when the previous owner turned in the old license plates), the CFE receipt (the electric bill), and my driver’s license. My husband also insisted I show her my residency card. I explained that my last name is not E. but F. and that I don’t have a second last name and that E. is my middle name. My husband signed over the car to me on the back of the original factura with 6 other transfers of ownership. He wrote Cedo a los derechos a (I cede the rights to this receipt to) my name, then signed his name and dated it. The counter girl asked for copies of all these. She told us to get a number from the guy at the desk when we came back.

So we trooped down to the first floor to a costume store that makes copies, $1 peso per side. That was a little steep, but it was the closest copy place. We went back up to the third floor and the desk guy said we could go over to the counter. But as the girl said we needed a number, we asked again. He hollered over at the girl and she said we could come on over. There wasn’t a line or anything.

So she took the copies and entered stuff into the computer. She asked how much we paid for the vehicle. My husband said $12,000 pesos although we really paid $17,000 but I guess the price of the plates is partially determined by the value of the vehicle or something. We asked if she could determine if the car had ever been a taxi since we discovered chips of green paint under the white. She said that there wasn’t anything in the system that said that it was, however since it had been originally purchased in D.F. (Mexico City) there was a good chance that it had been.

She told us that the plates would cost between $1200 and $1300 pesos but she couldn’t be sure since it was the end of the month and the price goes up at the beginning of the new month. My husband asked why we couldn’t pick them up today since it would be cheaper than waiting. She said that there was a 3 to 10 day waiting period in order for the State Police to check if the documentation we presented was fake or not. No worries! She gave us a recibo de documentación para tramites vehículares (a receipt stating she had received our documentation) and an appointment for Wednesday at 1:20 pm to come back for the alta (plates and permit and literally the opposite of the baja).

So Wednesday came around and we arrived 5 minutes before our appointment. I handed the recibo (receipt) letter that we had been given to the desk guy. He took it over to the window and gave it to the same girl we spoke with before behind the glass partition. Then we sat down. The waiting area was more crowded but the TV was on, so we watched a telenovela (soap opera) while we waited. It seemed the girl was finishing another transaction and she had to go hither and yon into different areas for paperwork, so the wait was about 10 minutes.

She then called my name and we went to the window. She apologized for the wait and said that she had indeed been working a troublesome transaction and thus the delay. She gave me the plates and read off the number on the tarjeta (card) to make sure they were the same. She asked the original factura (factory receipt) and $1123 pesos, which was much lower than we had been anticipating. I signed two or three documents. She rubber stamped and signed the original and the copy of the factura and she handed me the card. We were done.

How refreshing for an official transaction to be so simple and straightforward! We took Myrtle out for donuts that very afternoon, cruising right past the policía without a care in the world.

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July 25, 2014 · 6:07 pm

Driving Hazards–Mordidas

Bribery is called mordida (bite) as in a bite of an apple.

A bribe is often called la mordida (bite) as in a bite of an apple.

So for the past 2 months, the GTO State Police have set themselves up at the crossroads that is the main entryway, not only to La Yacata, but also La Ordeña, Las Peñas, Caricheo, and Pamaceo. These communities are very small, very poor and very targeted by the police for mordidas (bribes). The police’s constant presence prompted me to get my motorcycle driver’s license, however it isn’t an option for everyone. Many campesinos (country folk) are poor readers or illiterate so don’t even attempt to take the computerized exam. Others might not have an electric or water receipt to prove their residence because they lack these services in their homes. Furthermore, many of the IFE (voter’s registration cards) that I have seen from these little communities have nothing more than domicilio conocido (known address) listed since their home has no street name or number. So what’s a body to do?

So on to the story….

Sunday, my husband went to town for huaraches (large cheese and meat filled tortillas) as a special treat. He took my motorcycle rather than his own because I had just filled my tank and he was low on gas. Right after he left, my son and I went for a walk towards the crossroads so I could take a picture of some yellow wildflowers by the side of the road that I had spotted earlier. Just as we came out of La Yacata, my husband’s brother J passed us on his bike. He spent the day in La Yacata reportedly preparing an area to plant maize (corn) but mostly drinking.

We snapped the picture and headed back to La Yacata to wait for my husband. He was gone an unconsciously long time. We tried to call him, but he had left his phone at the house. My son got impatient and decided to head to the store on his bike for some munchies.

My husband arrived 15 minutes later with the huaraches, having been gone nearly 2 hours. Here’s what happened.

At the crossroads, the police stopped my husband on the moto and asked for his license, which he just renewed (See Getting Legal—Motorcycle license), and the tarjeta de circular (vehicle permit card) which he had taken with him, usually it’s in my purse. My moto has placas (license plate) and all the miscellaneous and sundry impuestos (taxes) paid. But that didn’t satisfy the police. They said that the card wasn’t valid, but it was. They said that the moto was stolen, which is wasn’t. They even lifted the plastic to see the VIN and check it against the card. Even though it was all good, they said that they would have to call it in. My husband wasn’t going to pay the mordida (bribe) they were fishing for, so he told them to go ahead and he’d wait. The officer got up in his face and wanted to know if my husband had a problem with him. He didn’t, but intimidation is part of this whole macho-mordida thing.

While they had him wait, he said that they stopped a car heading to Las Peñas. The car didn’t have any placas (license plates) but everything else was in order. The police told the driver that the new law is that you have 9 days to get placas (license plates) from the date of purchase or the vehicle will be impounded. Hmm, as we just purchased a new vehicle, this is good to know. (See Getting Legal—License plates) Many vehicles in the area are chocolates, which is the name for a car brought into Mexico from the United States that has overstayed its permit and not been legalized. (See Getting Legal—Legalizing a vehicle). This isn’t true in our case however.

By this time, my husband’s brother J rode past the policía on his bike. There is no law requiring license plates, nor license, nor helmet for a bike, although I believe there is a law that says you have to register your bike to prove it wasn’t stolen, but nobody does that. So J just assumed the police wouldn’t stop him. However, my detained and “uncooperative” husband waved to him as he passed. The officer turned to my husband and said that he knew that was his brother, then told my husband he was free to go.

The officers jumped into their official police vehicle and drove towards town. Since that was the direction my husband was going anyway, he followed. He arrived just in time to see them take J into custody. His crime? A suspicious backpack. Inside were 3 empty caguamas (liter size beer bottles) and 1 full one. He also carried an ax and hoe—deadly but not concealed weapons. My husband followed them to the jail and signed for custody of J, promising to deliver him safely to his house, which he did. He took him and his suspicious backpack and deadly weapons all the way to Uriangato and left him at the door with his heavily pregnant wife. Then he headed back to town and picked up the huaraches and headed home.

While my husband was retelling this story to me, my son arrived home from the store. He said he had just seen J by the store on the back of a gray moto with some heavy-set man he didn’t recognize. It seems that having 3 empty caguama bottles is a crime against nature and, therefore, he must have left his house minutes after my husband had dropped him off in search of the not-so-elusive cold one. So much for seeing him safely home.

Anyway, police presence also curtailed our driving practice that afternoon. Technically, the State Police only have jurisdiction on the main road. The road that goes to La Yacata and all the other little communities I mentioned is overseen by the transito muncipal (local traffic police) but they hardly ever come out to check on anything. We wanted to take Myrtle, our new VW bug, out for a spin on the local road, but since we didn’t have placas (license plates) yet and the State police were following bicycle riders to town, we thought better of it. So no practicing until the plates are on.

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July 18, 2014 · 7:13 am

Cultural Challenge—How to tell if you’ve been just been called an idiot

dunce

It’s not as easy as you might think to determine if you have just been insulted by a Mexican Spanish speaker. Sure words like idiota or estúpido can be easily understood by an English speaker, but there are expressions that on the surface might mean something completely different. Just so you know, all of the following expressions are meant to cause offense, so best not use them unless you want your butt kicked.

aloe vera

¡Ponte sabila! This isn’t a reference to the sábila (aloe vera) plant (See Natural Healing with sábila) but to the word saber (knowledge). It loosely translates as Wise Up! After all, a wise person would use sábila in healing. You’ve just been told you are acting like an idiot.

trout

¡Ponte trucho(a)! The word trucho literally refers to a male trout. However it’s actual use is more in line with fraud or fake. Although, in this expression it means rascally or shrewd. So here the expression is for you to Sharpen up like a male trout! You’ve just been told you are acting like an idiot.

¡Ponte chingón(a)! The word chingón comes from the verb chingar which has a whole slew of meanings in México. It could mean to f*** with, to f****, to take advantage of or to work diligently, among others. This expression advises you to take control of the situation or manipulate it for your benefit. You’ve just been told you are acting like an idiot.

empty head

¡No seas cabeza hueca! The word hueca means hollow or empty. So here the idea implied is that there is nothing inside the hollow of your head. You’ve just been told you are acting like an idiot.

¡No seas pendejo(a)! The word pendejo refers literally to pubis hair. No joke! Therefore, the use of this word is a bit stronger and more offensive than some. It means you are acting in an adolescent, unwise manner. A related expression is¡No digas pendejadas! This expression advises you forcefully to leave off saying whatever it is you are saying because you are speaking like an idiot.

¡No seas mamón! This expression uses the verb mamar which means to suckle and is extremely offensive. They literally refer to the idea that you are not capable of an intelligent action or thought because you are still being breastfed. You’ve just been told you are acting like an idiot.

¡No mames! This also uses the verb mamar but has a slightly different meaning. It is typically used when you just can’t believe something. In English, you might say You’ve got to be kidding! Obviously, you have just done or said something stupid.

manches

¡No manches! This expression is sort of the juvenile version of ¡No mames! Sort of like Jeez in place of Jesus Christ as an expletive. The verb manchar means to stain or leave a mark. The expression is typically used when one is frustrated with the actions or comments of another person. When my students use this expression in class, me being the wise-ass that I am, calmly inform them that No estamos manchando! (we aren’t staining anything at the moment) and they laugh and try for a more polite response.

table

¡No seas menso(a)! The word mensa once upon a time was a reference to a table. So calling someone a table would indicate that they are of inferior intelligence. In México, this expression means you are of inferior intelligence or in other words you’ve just been told you are acting like an idiot.

burro

¡Burro(a) or Asno(a)! Both words refer to the donkey and imply that you have so little intelligence that you are fit for nothing but working in the fields. (See On Being a Burro). You’ve just been told you are acting like an idiot.

Cada quien su guey

¡Güey! This word is an altered version of the word buey which is an ox. Again we have reference to the limited mental prowess of an animal. You’ve just been told you are acting like an idiot.

tonto

¡Tonto(a)! or ¡Deja de decir tonterías! Yes, the Long Ranger’s sidekick’s name was Stupid. The second expression indicates that you are saying foolish things and should leave off saying them immediately because you are an idiot.

¡Tarado(a)! This expression isn’t as common where I live, but I heard it on a Spanish language dubbed movie. My husband wouldn’t tell me what it meant so I had to look it up. It implies that you are deficient in the intelligence department and you’ve just been told you are acting like an idiot.

blockhead

¡Tarugo(a)! Literally the word means a thick piece of wood. Wood, like tables and suckling babes, are low on the intelligence totem pole, and you have just been told you are an idiot, blockhead.

¡Idiota! This word actually comes from the Greek word for a layman, someone untrained or not involved in public affairs. It is easily understood by English speakers as an insult to your higher reasoning powers.

¡Estúpido(a)! Again, this word is easily recognized by English speakers. However, I will warn you that it seems a stronger insult in Mexican Spanish and is seldom used. One day, I was reading The Emperor’s New Clothes to first graders and the version I was reading used the word stupid. Oh my goodness! You would have thought I had insulted their mothers the way the kids carried on. I certainly didn’t want them running home and saying the English teacher used the word estúpido in class, so I tried to explain that it didn’t mean the same in English and that regardless, we weren’t going to use it in class.

computer guy

Contra Indios. This racial expression can be translated literally against Indians. It is used when something you are trying to use isn’t working correctly. For instance, if you can’t open the trunk of your car it’s because the lock is contra Indios. This implies that the object is too technically advanced for a backwoods Indian and you are a backwoods Indian. You have just been told you are an idiot.

This list is not conclusive. I am sure that there are many other ways you might be told you are sub-intelligent that I have yet to hear. But I hope it helps with any inter-cultural communication situations you might find yourself in.

knight

If you want to respond to any of the previously mentioned, you might try ¡Te pasaste! or ¡No te pasas de lanza! Pasar means to go over or past and lanza is a weapon (lance). These phrases let the insulting speaker know that he or she has gone over the limit with the idiot comment and you don’t appreciate it. After all, them’s fighting words!

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