I learned something new about Día de Muertos this week. In many areas, altars are not put up for the deceased if it has been less than a year since their passing. It is believed that the items placed out to coax their visit on the ofrenda- favorite foods, drinks, photos, the scent of cempasúchil to draw them in- will confuse the spirit and not allow them to successfully complete their journey through Mictlán.
Last Tuesday, my husband took his own life.
The presidencia published their condolences. The velorio was arranged. The colonia sent flowers. Misa was held. The group of horsemen my husband rode with during the cabalgatas accompanied him on one final ride. Now, his family is several days into the novena, the nine days of prayer.
My son and I decided that we would not participate in these mourning rituals. We are working through our overwhelming and complicated emotions together as we try to navigate the legal loose ends left behind.
The novena ends on the 31st, just in time for Día de Muertos. However, this year, there will be no ofrenda, no calling him home. Instead, we send him our love as he continues his journey.
