Category Archives: Cultural Challenges

Parenting Challenge–Religious Training

ghandi

This week is Semana Santa, Holy Week, in Mexico. (See Carnival, Lent, Holy Week and Pilgrimages) Allegedly it is the most sacred period for Catholics in the area.  All the pomp and ceremony involved makes it an ideal time to talk about religion with my son.   Therefore, with that in mind…

How Authority Works.––The supreme authority (and all deputed authority) works precisely as does a good and just national government, whose business it is to defend the liberties of the subject at all points, even by checking, repressing, and punishing the licence which interferes with the rights of others …–Charlotte Mason

In a just world, Charlotte Mason’s idea could be easily used to demonstrate God’s role as authority to my son. But we do not live in a just world, so it’s merely hypothetical. So how, as a Christian, do I provide a sense of religion for him?

Charlotte Mason goes on to say that “It is not authority which punishes: the penalties which follow us through life, of which those the family are a faint foretaste, are the inevitable consequences of broken law, whether moral or physical, and from which authority, strong and benign, exists to save us by prevention, and, if needs be, by lesser and corrective penalties” however, we see incident after incident when it is authority which punishes and no law, neither moral or physical, has been broken to merit the punishment. How do I explain that to my son in a religious context? (See On Safety and Security)

I do not make these statements because we live in Mexico, although I can say that injustice is perhaps more visible in our lives here as compared to our lives in the United States. This difference between the ideal and reality exists in all parts of the world, in all social-economic classes, the past, present and future. Where is the God’s mercy to show my son in all this?(See And Justice for All)

Charlotte Mason also talks about the importance of instilling reverent attitudes in our children through the use of “little ceremonies” and again I take issue. She writes “It is a mistake to suppose that the forms of reverence need be tiresome to them. They love little ceremonies, and to be taught to kneel nicely while saying their short prayers would help them to a feeling of reverence in after life.” I have seen my nephews and nieces learn their catechism, make the sign of the cross, beat their little breasts as sinners, kiss the horns of the devil away…and yet…and yet, it is all playacting. There is no reverence there. (See Parenting Challenges–When someone dies)

praying dc

My son has his own Bible, in fact, he has two, one in English and one in Spanish, but I admit it is daunting for him to just pick it up and read it as a book. It isn’t meant to be read like that. Instead, we focus on the stories and read the sections that have to do with that particular characters life. One of our favorite segments thus far in our studies has been the life of Elijah, from the poking fun of Baal, (“Call at the top of your voice, for he is a god, for he must be concerned with a matter, and he has excrement and has to go to the privy. Or maybe he is asleep and ought to wake up!”) and the abasement of the third army chief before Elijah that spared his life and the lives of his men from the lightening bolts of heaven, to the fiery war chariot and horses that brought an end to Elijah’s part of the story. (1 Kings 18:21- 2 Kings 2:25) Between us, we refer to Elijah as the original superhero and totally think there should be a movie made about him.

In this sense, I agree with Charlotte Mason when she encourages the habit of reading the Bible. The habit of hearing, and later, of reading the Bible, is one to establish at an early age. We are met with a difficulty––that the Bible is, in fact, a library containing passages and, indeed, whole books which are not for the edification of children; and many parents fall back upon little collections of texts for morning and evening use. But I doubt the wisdom of this plan. We may believe that the narrative teaching of the Scriptures is far more helpful to children, anyway, than the stimulating moral and spiritual texts picked out for them in little devotional books. None of my nieces and nephews who have taken their First Communion can retell Elijah’s story or any other fascinating Biblical story for that matter. I really don’t know what they learned during their 8-week required course before they become ‘one with God.’

Matthew 21:12-13 “And Jesus entered into the temple and threw out all those selling and buying in the temple, and overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. And he said to them “It is written “My house will be called a house of prayer” but you are making it cave of robbers.

Matthew 21:12-13 “And Jesus entered into the temple and threw out all those selling and buying in the temple, and overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. And he said to them “It is written “My house will be called a house of prayer” but you are making it a cave of robbers.

I recently posted the above on Facebook. My son saw it but didn’t notice that I was the one who had posted it to his page. It struck him as noteworthy enough to comment on it to me later that night. From this, I know that I have inspired what Charlotte Mason calls “The Kingship of Christ” in him. Christ as a historical, even political, figure is understandable to him in a way that being a son of God is not.

Next, perhaps, the idea of Christ their King is fitted to touch springs of conduct and to rouse the enthusiasm of loyalty in children, who have it in them, as we all know, to bestow heroic devotion on that which they find heroic. Perhaps we do not make enough of this principle of hero-worship in human nature in our teaching of religion. We are inclined to make our religious aims subjective rather than objective. We are tempted to look upon Christianity as a ‘scheme of salvation’ designed and carried out for our benefit; whereas the very essence of Christianity is passionate devotion to an altogether adorable Person.–Charlotte Mason

This idea of Christ as a hero brings us around full circle to the problems I mentioned at the onset in teaching religion. A hero, such as Christ exemplified, had the power to change an entire system of things through passive or at times aggressive resistance. A hero does not accept things just because they are but demands that things be as they should be. This I can teach my son.

Matthew 7:12 All things, therefore that you want men to do to you, you also must likewise do to them; this, in fact, is what the Law and the Prophets mean.

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Making Cross-Cultural Friends–or Not

friends

After moving to a completely unknown region of the world, I set about making myself some friends.

Unfortunately, I didn’t know to bring along my skein of yarn for tatting when my husband and I visited, so I was never invited to sit on a bucket under the shade tree with the ladies of the house. Additionally, the fact that the women’s husbands liked to talk with me about stories of their glory days in the U.S. when they were young… didn’t endear me to the ladies at all. I represented a part of their lives that they hadn’t share with their husbands and they closed rank against me.

So since incidental friendships weren’t about to bloom anytime soon under these conditions, I had to see about cultivating some.

First, I tried among my husband’s family in México. He had two sisters here and a sister-in-law. It didn’t go as well at all. Everyone was too busy to make time for this ‘gringa’ who didn’t even know how to make tortillas. Some even expressed the opinion that I should go back to U.S. so my husband could find a nice Mexican girl. It wasn’t until my mother-in-law died that I was even considered part of the family (See La Novena) and invited to participate in the prayers. So, moving on…

I thought I’d try to find friends through religion. Being a non-Catholic in a Catholic nation was isolating, (See Parenting Challenges–when someone dies) however there were some Christian congregations scattered throughout the area. However, at the first place I went, I apparently was too foreign for words, literally. The brothers and sisters in the congregation would talk with my Catholic husband, but not with me. So then, I went to another congregation, but although more women spoke with me, they all seemed to want something other than friendship. For instance, I was enlisted to call a U.S. lawyer for a woman with an open disability claim. Then another woman had me fill out a social security claim for her husband who had died in the U.S. A third wanted me to register her children under their father’s U.S. residency status. None of these Christian ladies thought to pay me for these secular services and pretty soon I stopped going to Sunday meetings. It was just too time consuming.

So I tried to make friends with other teachers. Miss L, was a Spanish teacher, and we shared the responsibility of teaching first grade one year. (See Learning and Teaching Year 2) She invited me to her home and to her church, where her husband was the pastor, and things were going along smoothly for a time. But then she began tricking me into compromises. For instance, after I explicitly told her that I did not have any more time for individual classes, she had a friend of hers call her house when I was there so that I felt pressured into agreeing to give English lessons to her daughter. The daughter only managed to schedule in 3 classes, so not worth my while at all for all the rearranging I had to do. Then she wanted me to let my son help her on Wednesdays in a little plastic bag store she opened and I agreed. However, when her husband’s nephew came to town, she suddenly no longer needed my son’s help, although he was her best worker, and gave the job to the nephew. (Hurt feelings all around on this one.) Then there was the niece that just had to have English classes, and Miss L brought her brother to the house to petition me. Again, the classes didn’t even last a semester. I also helped her in the PAN campaign during the last election year (See Politicking) but never received the promised phone card or really any other benefits for all that work.

Eventually, I decided that I put up with enough of this exploitation and no longer answered her phone calls.

Then I took up with Miss R, another English teacher. She was going through a difficult life stage at the time and my husband and I helped her move and sell some of her things at the tianguis (See Failing at your own business-Tianguis. I even helped her prepare for the Trinity English Exam, which she needed to qualify to continue teaching English. I would drop by once or twice a month for a chat and was well on my way to considering her a friend.

But when I asked her for information about getting my teaching papers approved (See Getting Legal-working papers) she responded by asking why the chingada I was bothering her with these questions and to resuelva (resolve) my own problems. Excuse me?

After a tearful morning, I moved on.

Cross-cultural friendship is tricky business and it is apparent that I have quite a bit to learn yet before I can truly say I have Mexican friends. We seem to be truly different breeds of beings.

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No honor among thieves

thief

Things are becoming interesting in La Yacata lately on account of the morals of our neighbors. I’ve already talked about the pig guys, bull terrier and the horse guy (See good fences make good neighbors–unless your neighbor steals it) but there is a new family that moved in what used to be the profe’s house. They have two children and we have had people stopping at our house and asking where the family with the niña enferma or niña mala (sick girl child) live. As we haven’t been invited to be friends, we haven’t been able to ascertain what exactly is wrong with the girl, who seems to be about 2 years old, but she apparently has an illness or health-problem and thus, the family receives some assistance from both DIF and the church.

water pump

However, they have been finding it rough going in regards to water. The profe’s house only had a tinaco (water storage tank) which holds 15000 liters of water. The family doesn’t have any vehicles that they can bring water to the house and apparently haven’t any money to ask for water delivery from la presidencia (town hall) (See Water Woes). So the husband has been making free with the water from my husband’s brother’s ajibe (dry well). But that doesn’t give him a place to store the water that he steals, so two days ago, a barrica (barrel) that had been on top of the house on the corner for 5 years, went missing. The owner was livid and marched down to see if we knew anything about it. We could only speculate since the barrica (barrel) wasn’t visible from outside the profe’s house.

This same owner, who is renting to the pig guys, started complaining about the stench of these chicken-intestine eating animals (See Miss Piggy didn’t bring home the Bacon) and my husband suggested he not rent to the pig guys anymore. Apparently seeing the sense in that, he went and waited until the pig guys came to feed their animals, and throw out the daily supply of chicken feathers, and let them have it. We could hear the shouts from our house more than a block away.

pig farner

The end result was that the pig guys moved their animals to their half-constructed compound up the hill. It doesn’t have any sort of door, so I am not sure how they expect to keep their little piggys from running wild in La Yacata. Then there is the fact that they are right next door to the horse guy, who is known to have sticky fingers. So the pig guys have been camping out in their truck to protect their porcine investment, but I’m sure they will get tired of that soon enough and the horse guy will be frying up bacon before you can say Jack Robinson.

horse

The horse guy also has his own mini-telenovela (soap opera) going on and I wouldn’t be surprised if someone, namely him, gets shot over it. He had been caring for 3 thoroughbred breeding horses while the owner was out of the country for a month and, not to look a gift horse in the mouth, had made free with the maquila (stud service) of said horses during the weeks they were stabled with him. He charged $1,500 pesos for each coupling and hauled them hither and yon raking in the dough. He did this without the knowledge of the owner and naturally kept all the profit himself. The owner, who paid good money for his horses to be fed and watered, also didn’t know that the horse guy fed and watered his own scrawny yegua (mare) first from the feed and left the others to eat the leftovers.

Well, all good things must come to an end. The owner returned from his trip and came and collected the horses. Less than a week after he picked up the horses, one of them up and died. The horse’s estimated value was over $5000 usd or about $50,000 pesos. Angry doesn’t even begin to describe his reaction. He also found out about the illicit breeding activity. The owner came and threatened the bejeezes out of the horse guy, who now comes and goes at odd hours, sometimes walking and leaving his vehicle to throw the hounds off his scent I suppose.

But all in all, I have hope of it working out for La Yacata. Even though we have been accused of being rateros (thieves) (See Rateros–really?) we aren’t and have made no headway of ridding the land of these vermin. After all, it takes a thief to catch a thief and the way things are looking, los ladrones (thieves) will end by eliminating themselves without any help from me.

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