Tag Archives: Mexico

Parenting Challenge–Conformity and Education

The other day I was asked what secondary school my son would be attending. As he is only 11, I hadn’t thought much about it. This person, with good intentions, began listing the attributes of different schools in the area. I started to get stressed. Maybe I should start investigating? Maybe I should start visiting the schools to see what they offer and what the facilities are like? Maybe I should start planning for my son’s future? Then I had to take a deep breath and get ahold of myself. I had to remind myself why we sent my son to school in the first place.

What the traditional classroom does not teach our children

What the traditional classroom does not teach our children

My son attends a Mexican public school 4 hours a day, 200 days a year. We made the decision to send him to school, not because we thought the school system here was adequate for life learning, but because we realized that in order for him to one day integrate into our community, he would need skills that neither I, as a foreigner, nor his father, who never went to school, could teach him. (See Homeschool Variation) We wanted him to learn the habits and customs of the region, along with the language, so that if he chose to remain here, he could do so with moderate to extreme success. With those reasons, who cares what school he goes to???

Mexico is no different than the U.S. in their educational methods. They employ a curriculum based on service to self rather than service to the world. Students have been taught to do as they are told, become successful to buy more things, pay their taxes, run the maze, never mind that isn’t enough to truly be. As we do not want my son to be like most men who… .go through life without a single definite act of willing. Habit, convention, the customs of the world have done so much for us that we get up, dress, breakfast, follow our morning’s occupations, our later relaxations, without an act of choice.–Charlotte Mason — our daily activities are often at odds with the culture we find ourselves in. (see Forcibly Green–Obligatory Organic ) This way of life has caused some angst on the part of my pre-teen son. (see Parenting challenge–cultural apathy). Sometimes he just wants to do what everyone else does. I admit, at times I feel the same. It’s so hard to always be at odds with those who live around you, to not know the socially correct response in a given situation. When I start feeling this way, I have to remind myself that I made the conscious choice to live life as a field mouse rather than a lab rat and, therefore, this social discomfort is the price I pay. Teaching this ‘will’ can only be done through indirect means rather than a series of planned lessons. (see Parenting Challenge–Creating an Atmosphere for Education) Mostly it comes down to demonstrating through actions, the difference between what is and what could be, that there are no right answers, only more questions, and that there always, always is a choice and those choices always, always have consequences.

This service of man (or as Charlotte Mason says, service of God) is a difficult path to be sure. I’d like to give up, especially after being hammered with lawsuits (See Demanda 1 Demanda 2) for getting in the way of another’s service to self. But as I stand as an example for my son, my actions, whether I wish it or not, are observed by him; my decisions, intentionally or not, affect his life; so I can not in all good conscience throw in the towel. But as for being stressed out over sending him to a good school? Bah. The best school is the one you make for yourself as you travel through life.

Freethinkers are not formed in a standard classroom setting.

Freethinkers are not formed in a standard classroom setting.

********************


disclosure

3 Comments

Filed under Carnival posts, Education, Parenting Challenges and Cultural Norms

On life and liberty

My mother-in-law and father-in-law and 7 of their 11 children. From left to right, B, P, C, father-in-law, mother-in-law, L, Mr, Ma and my husband

My mother-in-law and father-in-law and 7 of their 11 children. From left to right, B, P, C, father-in-law, mother-in-law, L, Mr, Ma and my husband

This weekend marks the 8th month anniversary of the death of my mother-in-law.  Her death has been a devastating blow to this family and there is no closure yet, no peace.  She died as a result of injuries suffered when a police vehicle plowed into the moto that she and my father-in-law were driving through an intersection.  Her body was caught in the front grill of the truck and carried another 200 meters, then it fell to the ground and was run over.  The police vehicle has been estimated as traveling more than 200 mps.  As the police hit the back of the moto, it spun around and hit the side of the truck.  My father-in-law flew into the air and landed on his back, fortunately out of the path of the truck.

Both were taken to the hospital.  My father-in-law was released the next day and arrested by police waiting at the hospital door.  The law here is that all parties involved in an accident are detained and the vehicles impounded while an official investigation takes place.  The officer had already posted bail and was out on the streets on active duty by this time.  It took us 24 hours to come up with the 8000 pesos for my father-in-law’s bail.  During his incarceration, he was not even given a glass a water, nor his pain medications.

Immediately upon his release, he returned to the hospital.  My mother-in-law meanwhile had been transferred to the regional hospital.  The small hospital she had first been admitted to said she would be fine in a few days, however, they didn’t have the staff to operate on her shattered leg.  Thus, the transfer.  She was conscious and in extreme pain, however, the small hospital did not take x-rays of her bruised sides and therefore missed the fact that her 2 broken ribs had punctured her pancreas and she was bleeding internally.

When she arrived at the regional hospital, she was rushed into surgery.  She had been 24 hours without any sort of treatment besides a seeping bandage on her leg. Her condition was upgraded to grave, life-threatening.  She had severe head injuries and her arterial vein of her leg was severed. Not only was her pancreas in pieces but a large section of her liver was damaged.  She lapsed into a coma. We contacted her children in the States and told them to come if they could.

We waited three days at the hospital.  She was now on artificial respiration.  She was authorized to be transferred to Léon, however, her doctors did not think she would survive the trip, so she was not moved.

Her best friend Doña T came to visit and stayed with her for over an hour, talking with her and encouraging her to open her eyes.  Her eyes fluttered.  Within an hour, she had returned to consciousness.

Meanwhile, unexpectedly, her son J, who she hadn’t seen in 18 years, contacted me through the miracle of Facebook.  My husband and I hadn’t heard from J since we left Virginia, in nearly 5 years.  J was living in Tamaulipas, near the Texas border and wanted to talk with my husband.  We immediately called him and made arrangements that he come to see his mother.  He was on the bus that night. He arrived the day my mother-in-law was released from ICU and he was able to visit her.

Now that she was no longer in ICU, but still needed around-the-clock attention, and the family was required to provide someone to care for her.  Her daughters, L and P, were the primary caregivers, however, the daughters-in-law, G and myself were also pressed into service.  My shift was that Saturday, 8 pm until 8 am.

It was exhausting, both physically and emotionally.  When I arrived, she was conscious and alert, however, wasn’t able to speak.  I jabbered for several hours about the PAN meeting I had gone to in her stead and various bits of gossip she had missed out on during her hospital stay.  However, she became weaker and I noticed she had an extremely high fever.  When she drifted off, I went to the nurses’ station and asked that someone please come and look at her.  They took her temperature and said she needed a specific medicine immediately.

I texted her son B who was staying in the albergue (beds provided for family members of patients).  He had to go to an all-night pharmacy several miles away for this medicine as the pharmacy at the hospital was closed for the night.  While we waited for him to return, the nurse gave me a bowl of water and a cloth and told me to try and get her temperature down using wet compresses.   The elderly woman in the next bed also had an extremely high temperature and her husband and I took turns at the sink in our battle against the raging infections.

The medicine arrived and was administered, however, the relief was temporary.  In the wee hours of the morning, she was again feverish.  Meanwhile, our elderly neighbor died and her body removed to make room for a new patient, whose was in agony and extremely vocal about it.

My mother-in-law lingered another day and all her family that was present in town were able to make their last farewells.  She was conscious briefly at the end, made her confession and received the last rites.  Then she was gone.

We weren’t given any time to grieve.  Now that she had died, the charges against my father-in-law were upgraded to homicide and his bail revoked.  The police had begun their cover-up while we were still at the hospital.  They claimed that my father-in-law was racing the police car across the intersection, that my mother-in-law did not have her helmet on, that there was some urgent police business that necessitated the excessive speed of the police vehicle, that the moto hit the police car first, that my father-in-law was to blame for his wife’s death.

It was a race against time.  My mother-in-law’s body was taken to Yuriria for autopsy and would be released that afternoon.  All of her children needed to make statements with a lawyer immediately or my father-in-law would be rearrested.  We needed to make arrangements with the funeral director and inform the family in Cerano. And to top it all off, Jesus had sent another lawsuit that needed immediate answer, or I too would be in jail.

Now, 8 months later, this court case is still in limbo.  The police are still denying fault even though we have submitted a video taken seconds after the accident that refute the officer’s version of events.  Witnesses that at first were willing to testify have been ‘convinced’ otherwise.  Anonymous threats have been made against the family as well should we continue with the lawsuit.  And the thing is, at no time were we asking for monetary damages, even though my mother-in-law was the sole income provider for her household.  Nor were hospital or funeral expenses present in the demands.  There is not even a demand for a new moto as it was completely destroyed in the accident.  All that we are asking for is justice.  That my father-in-law does not go to jail on charges of involuntary manslaughter for the death of his wife.  That these charges brought against him by the police officer that drove over my mother-in-law are dropped.  Seems like we are whistling in the wind for all that we are heard.

The police officer, who is identifiable from the video, has been transferred to another place.  In my opinion, for our family, that is for the best.  The anger and grief his careless actions have caused have left this family with bitterness and rage.  Should this police officer be seen by any of us, there is no telling what might be attempted and with what result.

**********************

15 Comments

Filed under Death and all its trappings, Health, Safety and Security

And down comes the rain. . . Phase 4

post on the ground

The cattle owner just built his fence over the post and let it lay where it fell.

R, who reminds me a bit of Ronald McDonald, was elected as the new president, however, I immediately had misgivings about him. He basically brought his own supporters to the junta (meeting) so of course, he would win. Majority rules. He was very focused on collecting from the colonos (associates), although I don’t know what he thought to collect for. The only cooperation we had asked for was 50 pesos per owner for office supplies and advertisements. His thoughts were random and scattered. And it turned out, he was a treasurer under Jesus’ regime, but they had a row and he quit.

Finally, but without R, we were able to meet with the electric contractor that worked for the presidencia (town hall). He hadn’t made it out to La Yacata for any sort of inspection as we had requested and when we went to see him at the presidencia (town hall) when he requested the governor of GTO was giving a rally speech or something and he couldn’t meet with us. So we returned the following day and were able to have the meeting.

However, I’m not sure that it was at all helpful. First, he said he needed the electrification plan, which Chuchi refused to give us. Then he told us it was a long and extensive complicated process and mentioned that he was so near retirement that he was tired. This wasn’t encouraging at all. He asked if we had escritoras (deeds) but again, he should know that we don’t because you can not have a deed until the lot has services which include electric, sewer and water. As we had none of those, we had no deeds. To me, it seemed he was putting the cart before the horse, but anyway. . .

So he said that we need the receipts of the posts and transformers and wires that are already in place, which of course we didn’t have.  He suggested we write the numbers on the posts down and possibly the factory that made the posts could give us some information about it.  The wires may be able to be reused as there had been no electric passing through them.  But the transformers would have to be taken down and sent to a lab to see if they were still functioning.  Additionally, he says that the new rule is that all wires must go underground, so the system we had in place was obsolete.  This seemed ridiculous because we already had the posts and wires and transformers and it was only a matter of updating what needs updating, repairing anything that needs repaired and turning on the electric, at least in our minds.  Then he intimated ominously that we would also need the “cambio de uso de suelo” (zoning change) to proceed and permission from Desorrollo Urbano, (zoning office) which he knew we didn’t have and hadn’t been able to get. He further went on to speculate that the change from agricultural to habitation may be more difficult that we would like to imagine since farming is considered ‘sacred’ in México. I found it hard to believe that the area that was still being farmed in La Yacata, which was plowed and planted and harvested by one elderly man, would be considered so sacred that the necessities of the families living there would not be considered, but who could say for sure.

Well, we did what we could. We copied the numbers off the posts and went to CFE, the electric company, and asked about them. They had no registration of any of the posts and referred us to the main office in Celaya. So another day trip to Celaya, who referred us to the contractor who had supposedly done the job, since their office had no record of a permit ever being issued nor work ever being completed. As el contratista was from Moroleón, we returned home, no progress made.

Two months after R’s election, he still hadn’t registered his presidency, probably because there was a cost involved and the La Yacata funds were non-existent at the time. So I took matters into my own hands again and went to see the son of the original owner.

We had met with him when J was still president to ask about what he knew about making La Yacata conform to current norms. He was polite and helpful. But we needed something more. He had a vested interest in the success of La Yacata as a good portion still belonged to his family. Furthermore, he was the contractor and president of several other developments, so knew how to obtain the proper documentation from the presidency, which seemed to have all of us stymied.

I don’t know what he was thinking when I went to his office to plead our case. There was so much I didn’t know about these things, both the legal and illegal aspects of it. So he started at the beginning. He explained how we would have to purchase water rights before we could even apply for the electric. That will cost about $10,000 pesos per lot. Seems expensive, however then the municipality would do all the work and it would be done right. But before he became overly involved, we would have to have another meeting and present both the information we obtained and the motion to remove the current president, who had done nothing thus far.

Meanwhile, it was rainy season in La Yacata. All the desert blossoms were nearly in bloom and the ground was covered in springy plants. Unfortunately, with the heavy rains and the fact that the electric posts were put in a swamp without any sort of base, one had fallen over. It pulled the rest of the wires and created an incredible tension on them, causing a domino effect with the other posts in both directions. The electric company didn’t bother to come out when we called because they have no record of posts being there.  Civil Protection did come, however, and move the posts and wires off the road, where it sits still.

*******************

disclosure

1 Comment

Filed under La Yacata Revolution