Surviving Mexico

February 16, 2018 · 7:00 am

A bit of remodeling–The upstairs bathroom

With a teenage son now and plans of a multigenerational home in the future, (ok, so I can’t wait for grandchildren) we decided that a second bathroom would be nice to have. Since this bathroom was on the second floor, it needed to be raised up to include the plumbing underneath which meant making a step for my short legs.

My husband thought we should have a bathtub, which is a rarity here in Mexico. After pricing the fiberglass tubs, he decided he would make it out of tile. So he did. Again, because of my short legs, another step had to be built.

We had another search for suitable tile to go with the cream and brown color scheme. We found some creamy beige tile that seemed like it would be ok and ordered 12 boxes. When the delivery guy arrived, there were 9 boxes of cream tile and 3 boxes of other tiles. Of course, my husband didn’t notice this until all the tile had been unloaded. He refused the order. He and the delivery guy loaded everything back on the truck.

Over the course of the next 2 days, my husband went back and forth to town to try and get this resolved. There were only 9 boxes of the cream tile to be found. So he accepted the 9 boxes and the store manager deducted the cost of the 3 boxes of hideous tile. Then the 9 boxes were delivered a second time and work could commence.

Creamy!

Tile at the bottom of the tub.

Because there were now only 9 boxes instead of 12, there was not enough tile to do the bottom of the tub. His brother B was also tiling his house and had asked to borrow the truck for tile pickup so when they went to pick up B’s tile, my husband bought 2 boxes of brown tile to finish the floor. I can’t say that I really like it, but it’s not like many people will see it. It’s at the bottom of the tub.

Then there’s the issue of the tub not having a faucet. Our shower downstairs has a faucet on the wall, but no tub. I’m not sure why that is. So, lieu of a faucet, we opted for a shower nozzle on a flexible hose. I figured it would be just the thing since my son washes his hair every single day but doesn’t always shower. In the event of an actual bath, we could always fill the tub with buckets. My husband even assured me he would heat the water on the outside cooking grill if need be. Ok then. We do plan on getting a boila (hot water heater) eventually, but it will have to wait.

We had a toilet and sink left over from one of my husband’s remodeling jobs. He installed them but the toilet wasn’t exactly what I had in mind. It had a broken tank cover and was white which so didn’t go with the overall cream and brown classic look I was going for. I know, so picky!

We shopped around a bit, not precisely for the color although that was a big factor, but for a toilet that had a smaller tank. Water conservation is still our number one concern. We found a cream one reasonably priced and brought it home.

The next step was getting another tinaco (water storage container) and installing it. Some heaving and ho-ing got it up on the roof. An afternoon’s work and it had a base. The pipes took a few runs to the ferreteria (hardware store), but it got done. As it’s on the second floor and not the first floor, it is against regulations for the water delivery truck to fill it, so we are considering a water pump. Until that happens, ‘algo pa’la soda’ (a little donation towards the purchase of a “soda”) should get the tinaco filled.

The sink faucet was a hassle. We went hither and yon looking for something that would do. After we made our choice, my husband installed it only to find that it leaked. Back we went to return it. The shop gave us another model. AND it leaked too. Remember, water is sacred. There will be no leaking in our home. Third time’s the charm I guess. No leaky faucet with the third model.

The tub ended up being too big for just one shower curtain. It was a good thing I had bought two, thinking to change out the downstairs shower curtain as well.

Our Harley carpenter made a wooden towel bar the matched the wooden curtain rod. More on him later. A mirror positioned just so to reflect back the light from the window and a plant artistically arranged and the bathroom was done.

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Filed under Construction

Tagged as bathroom construction, building in Mexico, Construction

February 14, 2018 · 1:00 pm

Thank you Mom

Today I thought I write about my mom. I know she knows that I love her, but I don’t think she realizes how much of who I am today is because of her.

mom teen

When my brother and I were kids, we had this mammoth garden. Well, it seemed mammoth at the time, 2 football stadiums long at least. During growing season, every weekend and all summer long, we were supposed to go out and weed a row or two. We also watered the plants bucket by bucket every Monday, Wednesday and Friday evening. Being older and wiser than my brother, I always tried to get my weeding done before 9 am because it was hotter after that. Whereas, my brother was just rolling out of bed at 9 am and grumped about, sometimes never even getting around to weeding his row. Hmm, I wonder who was the smarter one after all? Anyway, those gardening skills sure have been useful trying to eek out an existence here in Mexico over the years. Thank you, mom.

My mom paid $5 every Monday for me to take piano lessons for 6 years. I bellyached and complained about practicing and tried to skate through each Monday’s lesson knowing I could have played better had I just spent a little more time banging out songs during the week. My brother and mom would disappear someplace during that very long 30 minutes and sometimes were late picking me up and I had to wait hours in the cold, shivering (or at least it seemed like hours, it was probably only 5 minutes or so) for them to come and get me. My piano has provided me endless hours of comfort since. Thank you, mom.

My mom would take my brother and me for these endless bike rides, or at least they seemed to last that long. She’d fill up her basket with wildflowers or maybe a cluster of wild grapes or elderberries. Our rides often passed the Women’s penitentiary and one time the police came to investigate thinking my mom in her striped purple polyester pants had escaped the compound. While the mountains hereabouts aren’t really bike friendly, I have been known to drag my husband and son on wildflower excursions. Thank you, mom.

While we had a dryer, more often than not our washed clothes were hung out on the line. The sun-kissed bed linens were just the thing to snuggle into at night. If was often my job to either hang or bring in the clothes. I am proud to say that here in Mexico, where a dryer is a rarity and everybody hangs stuff out, my clotheslines are a work of art. You wouldn’t believe how many items I can get to dry on one line. Another useful skill. Thank you, mom.

Eight grade Home Ec was a nightmare. I just could not get the seams to run straight. My mom spent extra time helping me fix my sewing mistakes and then over the summer, she had me learn how to run her old Singer sewing machine. I won’t say that it was my favorite memory–those hot, frustrating afternoons! Only, yet again, it has been a useful ability in my life in Mexico even if my seams still aren’t quite straight. Thank you, mom.

As an awkward teenager, my mom took the time to help me find makeup that complimented my coloring and clothes that flattered my figure. We scoured Goodwill and clearance racks looking for quality material, then bought shoes and earrings to create outfits that bolstered my confidence. While I don’t wear much makeup these days, when I do, I use the same techniques my mother taught me. And while I don’t do much shopping either, I know how to search out quality and have used that skill to clothe my family. Thank you, mom.

Things aren’t so easy here in Mexico, as you might well imagine. Sometimes it’s downright difficult. When a friend commented that she admired the strength and grace with which I was able to deal with adversity, I told her I had learned it from my mom. So thank you, mom, for all that you did to create the woman and mother than I have become. Thank you for giving me my independence and teaching me how to create a life of beauty even in the middle of nowhere. I couldn’t have done it without you.

daughter

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Filed under Parenting Challenges and Cultural Norms

Tagged as a letter from a daughter, a letter to my mom, mom, thank you mom

February 12, 2018 · 1:00 pm

Blog About Mexico Worth Reading–Saltillo Expats

Today’s feature blogger has been a supportive part of my SOTB Bloggers experience. I’m pleased to introduce you to Jill, blogger at Saltillo Expats, Loving the Land of the Flour Tortilla (Meximamma) and Jill Michelle Douglas. I don’t know how she does it!

What brought you to Mexico?

I came 19 years ago for a study abroad semester. Then I met my husband. I came back 15 years ago to see if he was a keeper. He was. Finally, I came back for good 10 years ago after we got married.

What was the inspiration for your blog name?

I started my blog on a whim almost 9 years ago. I didn’t plan much out, and all the names I could think of were already taken. Finally, I stumbled on meximamma (because meximama was taken). After all, I was planning to write about what it is I like about Mexico and about being a mom (I started this when my oldest daughter was 5 months old, partly to keep my mom and friends up-to-date).

Then, after a few years, I decided that I hated that name. It seemed a little flip. It made me cringe. So now I write at jillmichelledouglas.com because that URL will never make me cringe.

It was still my second choice name because Jill Douglas is apparently a famous rugby commentator in the UK. My own name was already taken!

What area of Mexico and topics does your blog primarily focus on?

When I started my first blog, we had recently moved to northern Mexico. (My husband is from Mexico City.) It’s a whole different Mexico out here, and the blog was my attempt to nail down and explain some of those differences.

I started writing about Mexico and my kids. For the Mexico posts, I’d try to paint a picture about those elusive things that I find charming here, things that are different from the US. And as a new mom, I had a lot of new-mom reflections that needed an outlet.

Now I don’t really notice those difference between the US and Mexico anymore. At least I don’t notice them here because I’m so used to living here and the oddities I encounter here are normal now (so they’re not really oddities anymore). That’s why on my new site, I have very little about Mexico at the moment.

But we have traveled extensively, and I’m hoping to write about destinations in Mexico, share photos, and explore great places to go here. Less sociology, more tour guide.

Why do you blog?

I now have two blogs: my personal blog and one for foreigners moving to Saltillo, Coahuila, Saltillo Expats

A few years into my blog, I found that I really enjoyed exploring my city and writing about what Saltillo has to offer. Saltillo is home to a huge GM plant, Chrysler, John Deere, Freightliner, and numerous automotive suppliers. Thanks to my blog, a number of women who were about to move to Saltillo contacted me, wanting to know more information about Saltillo. They had mostly the same questions, so it seemed clear to me that SaltilloExpats was a necessity.

This has freed me up on my personal site to focus more on parenting, exploring faith and Christian beliefs, and anything else I find helpful. If I’ve learned something that turned out to be particularly helpful, I write it down and share it on my personal blog, so 1) I don’t forget what I learned and 2) just in case others would be interested in learning from those experiences (just as I enjoy other blogs that explore those topics). I’m hoping that Mexico will flavor the site, but it’s no longer the central focus.

What is your favorite blog post?

One of the last posts on my old blog was a story about taking a chance and seizing the moment while I was on vacation two years ago. I like it for the memories I was reliving, and for the reminder that we need to take advantage of opportunities when they’re presented, not waiting for some undefined time in the future that may be more ideal. That time might never come. (And I tend to be a waiter.)

What has been the most difficult for you to blog about?

Refraining from disclosing too much personal information. I’m an open book from the Midwest, where we trust most people. My husband is from Mexico City, where they believe everyone is out to get them. (That’s only a slight exaggeration, for all those chilangos who are going to protest that description!) He does not yet know that I have a blog named jillmichelledouglas.com, and it might just be better if he continues to be oblivious about that. 😉 After all, my whole name is out there (which is probably too much personal information).

What has been the best experience you’ve had in Mexico?

Assimilating. Specifically, how do I describe that?

I read once that it’s suspicious if expats spend all their time with other expats or go to the other extreme and refuse to associate with the other foreigners. Now that I have a number of friends, both Mexican and foreign, people I can have over for dinner, people who will watch my kids when I’m supposed to be in three places at once, I feel like I’m home.

A more specific best experience? (One that kind of crowned the assimilation process for me.) Almost three years ago, the orchestra for the state of Coahuila held auditions for a vocal section. I auditioned (which was a great experience in itself) and much to my surprise (given those who I also heard audition and the size they wanted for the choir) I was asked to join. We’ve done a zarzuela (Spanish opera), sung Queen (in an orchestra setting), sang for the Nutcracker, sang for the last minute of Puccini’s Suor Angelica, among other things. It had been growing in me for some time that I really missed making music with others, and this has been a phenomenal opportunity. (Not to mention a great chance to learn musical terminology in Spanish!)

What has been the worst experience you’ve had in Mexico?

Without a doubt, the years 2011-2012. The narcos were running amok around here and, more often than not, it felt like we were living under house arrest. And, back to the hardest part about blogging, I couldn’t write much about it, as we were afraid that they’d somehow find my blog an target us. (Highly unlikely, of course. But crazy times and crazy people call for a lot of extra caution. Laying low was the name of the game.)

I learned that if they come back, we’re getting the hell out of here.

I also learned that times like that draws people closer. When there were alerts, people were better about calling their friends to make sure they stayed at home or avoided certain areas of town.

What advice do you have for those planning to move or travel to Mexico?

Learn Spanish. As much as you can before you come. But, keep in mind, no matter how much you learn, it will never feel like enough. Then get a Spanish teacher here and keep learning. Even though you may sound dumb, use the Spanish you’ve been learning. Slowly but surely, it will get better. Unless you don’t try. Then it will never get better. So learn Spanish.

How long do you plan on remaining in Mexico?

Forever. Unless we get an opportunity we can’t refuse. Even then, we’ll probably come back.

Where do you see your blog going?

Wherever the wind may take me.